


I've Fallen and I can't get up

by UnicornPunk



Series: Underswap Underfell Fusion Universe [1]
Category: Undertale
Genre: Alternate Universe - Underfell, Alternate Universe - Underswap, Gang Violence, Gangs, Homelessness, Past Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Self-Destruction, Underfell Grillby, Underfell Papyrus, Underfell Sans, Underswap Muffet, Underswap Papyrus, Underswap Sans, also underfell is a place in the under swap verse, an awful place, anti red magic, basically fell pap is a leader of a gang, blue is a sweetheart, fontcest if you squint, monsters discriminate against other monsters, platonic honeymustard - Freeform, red gets the big brothers he deserves
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-03
Updated: 2017-02-08
Packaged: 2018-08-28 21:51:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 13
Words: 31,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8464357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnicornPunk/pseuds/UnicornPunk
Summary: Papyrus doesn't understand why his little brother insists on trying to help the monsters confined to the hellish section of the underground called UnderFell, monsters who've been pushed to the edges of society due to their violent natures. Papyrus knows one thing though: he isn't about to let his brother visit that hell alone. Papyrus doesn't care about the Red Monsters, but all of that changes when he meets a scared skeleton not too unlike his little brother. Suddenly Papyrus cares enough to help, the only question is, will Red let him? Red ran from Boss months ago, hiding in the grungier parts of the land known as Underfell. He's shocked to find his brother's doppelgänger.  It's bad enough that the friendly skeleton wears Boss's face, but whats worse is the fact that he actually wants to help Red. This 'Papyrus' wants to take Red away from his personal hell, to the bright land where Red Monsters like him and his brother are unwelcome. What will Red do when this skeleton offers him a chance to feel safe for the first time in his existence?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Swapbrothers: Papyrus and Sans
> 
> Underfell Brothers: Fell/Boss and Red
> 
> Other characters will appear as either their underfell or underswap versions as the story progresses.

* * *

 

This side of the underground wasn’t the best. In fact, it was awful, a sort of anarchy having swallowed the place over the years. People had started calling it all sorts of names, but the one that stuck was Underfell. It had a grim connotation to it, the perfect moniker for this hellhole.

It was lower than the Underground. Darker. It was _fallen_ and Papyrus did not understand why his brother insisted on coming here _all the goddamn time_ because honestly, this place scared the shit out of Papyrus. Really, the only thing that kept him coming here was the thought of Sans wandering down here alone, because Papyrus was not about to let his brother get hurt by these red bastards.

As such, the lanky skeleton now sat leaning against the side of the rat hole that was Grillby’s, chewing on the tip of his cigarette. His brother was talking to a scarred looking dog monster, offering the poor thing a spare blanket and some kind words. It occurred to Papyrus that Sans didn’t belong here. No one else in all of Underfell would think to offer a helping hand to a monster in need, especially one they didn’t know, but Sans came here to do this _every month._

Never mind the fact that most of the monsters here just shook and flinched whenever he drew near, never mind the fact that he got jeered at every time he ventured past the makeshift border between the rest of the Underground and Underfell, never mind the fact that, given the chance, most of the monsters here would dust Sans and steal the clothes off his back. Never mind all that. Sans was just _kind._ Sans was just _good._ He did these things and expected nothing in return.

A startled yelp pulled Papyrus from his thoughts. He glanced to the alley beside him. and immediately did a double take, looking from his brother Sans to the monster in the alley.

“Boss, y-you’re not—” the skeleton stuttered, eyes wide in fear, pupils shrinking to pinpoints. “Fuck, I-I didn’t—”

Papyrus glanced once more over his shoulder to check that Sans was safe. The kid had moved on to talking to a rabbit-like creature. Assured that his brother would be fine for a bit, Papyrus turned to the other skeleton who seemed unable to speak past his terror, instead making choked off little noises every time he tried to open his mouth.

Papyrus immediately crouched down so he wasn’t towering over the guy, hoping to put the little skeleton at ease.

After the momentary shock of the moment, Papyrus realized this kid looked nothing like his brother. They had a similar shape, yeah, but he was a lot smaller, a lot greyer, and _a lot_ more beat up than Sans was. The stranger was sweating now, stooped down in his leather coat and he didn’t look like the homeless monsters Sans normally interacted with, the sad creatures with blank stares and skinny frames. He looked a lot more like the patrons in Grillby’s—nothing more than sharp edges made for fighting.

Except the kid wasn’t fighting. He was sputtering out, stuck in some awful loop as he stared at Papyrus. The taller skeleton lifted his hands, showing he was unarmed, and offered his warmest smile, trying to put the stranger at ease.

Sans was better at this than he was. The kid was a fucking savant when it came to getting people to open up and if he wasn’t so dead set on becoming a member of the royal guard, Sans would have made a fantastic counselor. Sans was easy to talk to; Papyrus wasn’t. Papyrus couldn’t think past the cotton that swathed his brain well enough to try to comfort another monster.

“Hey, I think you’re a little confused there, buddy. I don’t think I’m who you expected,” Papyrus said. “I’m not gonna hurt you though, okay?”

That made the other skeleton sputter, but it seemed Papyrus’s words were unexpected enough to break him out of his fugue. He immediately stepped back, eye lights darkening from pink to a deep red.

“Woah there,” Papyrus shifted back at the show of magic.

“Is this some kind of joke?” the red skeleton snarled.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, buddy.”

Papyrus felt the cold sensation of his soul being checked, but didn’t fight it and didn’t move to do the same to the monster in front of him. Around here, that could very well be taken as a challenge.

The little skeleton must have not liked what he saw, because he immediately recoiled, stuffing his hands in his pockets, shoulders hunched. He looked a little like a feral dog, baring his fangs at Papyrus like he expected the man to try and kick him.

“Do you work for him? Some kind of body double, then?” he snarled. “He send you here to scare the shit out of me? Well you might look like Boss, but I’m sure as fuck not falling for that. You can tell that fucker if he wants me back, he’s gonna have to hunt me down himself, not send some goddamn doppelganger to do it!”

“I honestly have no idea what you’re going on about,” Papyrus said, about as levelly as he could manage.

He didn’t like how angry this kid was, how _scared_ he seemed beneath all that bite, but didn’t try to think too hard about it. Most of the people in Underfell were pretty beat up, most of them had that same caged look in their eyes, like they were just waiting to be hurt, and sure this kid was the worst Papyrus had seen so far, but that didn’t mean anything right? (But god, the crack in his skull looked awful, arcing away from his eye, red light filtering through the space, and were those claw marks on his cheek? Not to mention the gold tooth he sported. Skeletons weren’t supposed to loose bones like that. They weren’t supposed to be as pocketed with scars as the kid before him.)

Papyrus glanced over his shoulder, checking that Sans was still safe and immediately relaxing the moment his brother was in his sights, before turning back to the red skeleton in the alley. “Look, kid, I—“

Then Papyrus stopped dead because the other skeleton was gone. In the second Papyrus had glanced back at Sans, the kid had just _vanished_ and Papyrus had always considered himself a pretty astute guy. Even when he wasn’t self-aware, he was at the very least _aware of his surroundings,_ but he hadn’t even heard the other skeleton move. It was a little impressive, actually.

Shrugging, Papyrus stood and made his way back to Sans, ready to leave this hell and head back to Snowdin.

 

* * *

 

Red sat huddled in an alleyway, knees pressed to his chest. He was behind a stack of boxes, well out of sight, and he’d be able to convince himself he was fine if he could _just stop shaking already._

He hadn’t seen Boss in months. Red knew his brother was looking, had heard the gossip coming from the other monsters, but Red was also really _really_ good at hiding. He hadn’t been worried, hadn’t tried too hard to keep out of sight, knowing as long as he kept his head down and his collar hidden no one would suspect he was out of place, no one would guess he was _lost property._ And everything had been fine until he’d seen the other skeleton loitering outside of Grillby’s and Red’s mind had just gone _blank._

He hadn’t seen Boss in _months_. Red liked to pretend that, if he saw his brother again, he’d be able to fight back. He liked to pretend he would run even. He liked to pretend he wouldn’t fall back into the sniveling role he was used to playing, but Red had been wrong. One look at his brother’s doppelganger had sent him spiraling back into that pitch black panic he was so intimately familiar with.

He’d been ready to roll over on his back like a dog. One look at Boss’s face (not even boss’s face! there were no scars, no sharp lines, just soft curves and lazy gestures and still San’s hadn’t been able to stop himself!) and all his newfound independence seemed to rush out of him. Now it was like Red hadn’t made any progress at all.

And yeah, he hadn’t really been any better since leaving Boss, yeah he still woke up most days certain Boss was gonna break down his door and beat him senseless for yelling in his sleep, but he’d—at least he’d been in control. Because even though the streets were hell, even though Red was just as likely to get dusted out here as he was back home, at least he wasn’t being treated like a _thing_. Red was his own person. Red was something that got to make decisions and talk and eat whatever he wanted.

He could drink himself stupid at Grillby’s and fight in the streets and so long as he didn’t draw too much attention to himself, he was as safe as anyone could be this side of Fell.  

Letting out a low whine, Red curled in on himself, covering his head with his arms.

 

He wanted to go home. He missed his brother and god, how disgusting was that? It was hilarious, really, that Red could spend this much energy hiding from the asshole only to feel homesick at a moment’s notice.

    

* * *

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> papyrus finds out Red's name. Red misses his brother. all around, these two are awkward beans who suck at communicating.

* * *

 

The second time Papyrus ran into the red skeleton, he had come to Underfell alone. Sans was off training with Alphys, too busy to come himself, but still not busy enough to forget about the monsters in Underfell--monsters who had come to expect Sans’s care packages by now.

 A part of Papyrus just _hated_ them for that. A part of him thought that if they treated Sans as horribly as they treated each other, Sans would learn to stay away, but _of course_ they wouldn’t do that. The Red Monsters acted thankful and sweet and downright manipulative all because Sans had something they needed and when Red Monsters needed something, they’d do anything to get it. They could even pretend to be kind.

 

So Papyrus was halfway through dispensing Sans’s ‘goody bags' to the monsters who looked like they needed them when he stopped dead in his tracks. The kid was lying in the same alley from two months ago and Papyrus might have forgotten about the little skeleton all together if it weren’t for the fact that this monster had reminded him so much of Sans.

Now the kid was stooped in the alley, sneakers sticking out from behind a pile of boxes, mouth parted while he slept. His head lolled to one side and, god, the crack in his skull looked awful from this angle. Papyrus’s own head began to ache just looking at it.

 Steeling himself, Papyrus crouched in front of the kid. The monster looked younger in his sleep, the angry lines from before missing in his dreams, but he twitched every now and then, letting out small whimpers while he dreamt. It was sad to hear. Worse was the reek of alcohol that wafted from the kid’s clothes.

Who the hell sold that much alcohol to a minor? Did the monster’s parents drink? Did the kid have parents _at all_? Because even in Underfell, monsters still tried to keep their young from sleeping on the streets like this.

Papyrus nudged the kid’s foot and he shot awake immediately. His left eye flared red and Papyrus couldn’t help but feel unnerved by the show of magic. It was instinctual to be afraid of Red Magic after all. It was a violent sort of energy and it had a tendency to turn its users dark. Almost all the monsters in Underfell possessed it, so Papyrus shouldn’t be surprised to see such a show of it from the kid, but he still felt uneasy, less certain than he had been a moment before.

Then the kid’s expression morphed into a look of complete terror, not unlike the one he’d worn when the two first met, and he pulled his knees to his chest, eyes wide.

“B-boss?” he sputtered.

Papyrus frowned. “Still not who you think I am, buddy.”

The kid straightened at that, suddenly more suspicious than afraid. “The body double,” he said, eyes narrowing to slits and it was amazing to watch how quickly the kid could shift between emotions, going from terrified to dangerous in an instant. Not even Sans could move that fast and Papyrus’s little brother was a goddamn kaleidoscope of feelings. “What the fuck do you want with me now?”

Papyrus just held out one of Sans’s care packages for the kid to take. Even though the kid didn’t look like the monsters Sans typically approached, he still looked like he could use the same attention, maybe even more so if the caged expression in his eyes was an indication of anything.

“What the hell is this?” He said, actually recoiling from the bag.

That made Papyrus’s frown deepen. He set the bag on the ground and sat back, cringing as the dirty stone of the alleyway bit into his tailbone. “It’s just a goody bag. My brother puts them together for everyone.”

“He’s the blue monster that comes around here, right?”

“Yeah.”

That caused some of the suspicion to bleed from the kid’s eyes. Sans was pretty well known around here. It wasn’t unlikely that the kid had heard stories about him from the others. “So you’re the scary tree that follows him around, then?”

“You guys think I’m a tree?”

“You ever look in a mirror, man?” the kid grinned and it was a nice expression, making Papyrus feel a little more at home than he had a second ago. Then the kid had to ruin it by adding, “Besides, there’s nothing wrong with being big, especially when you get to yank around monsters who are smaller than you. Why the hell do you let your little fuck toy come down here though? Seems like a real hassle for you to deal with.”

“W-what?” Papyrus sputtered.

“The chubby blueberry that drags you around down here? I mean it’s obvious this shit show is his idea. What do you make him do to pay for it?”

“Do to make him pay for what?”

“ _For dragging you down here_.” The kid repeated, looking at Papyrus like he was particularly dumb.  

Papyrus’s brain sputtered out for a moment, and he just sat there gaping. It occurred to him that this kid had just called Sans Papyrus’s _fuck toy_ and that was all kinds of wrong. Forgetting the fact that Sans was his little brother, there was still the idea that this kid had just casually assumed that Sans was whoring himself for protection and golly gee wasn’t that a whole new level of awful?

Was that what monsters did around here? _Was that what this_ _kid had to do to survive?_

 “Sans is my _brother,_ ” Papyrus said.

“Oh my god. _You’re fucking your brother?!”_

“What? No!” Papyrus shouted and didn’t miss the way the little skeleton recoiled from the sudden loud noise. That sobered Papyrus some and he took a deep breath, calming himself. “Look, I think we’ve got some of our facts jumbled up here. Sans and I are _brothers_ and we are most certainly _not_ having sex with each other. At all. Like not even a little bit.”

That just seemed to confuse the skeleton. He stared at Papyrus. “Then what do you use him for? He’s too small to be good for much else.”

“He’s bigger than _you_.”

The kid flinched back and it was like a shutter closing, the way all the emotion just _drained_ from his face. It was like Papyrus had threatened to kill him which, really, what was he thinking saying something like that? How could that not sound like a threat to a kid as fucked up as this one?

“I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant—Sans is far from useless and he’s his own monster. He can make his own choices and yeah, sometimes they’re dumb choices, but I can’t stop him. All I can do is make sure he doesn’t get hurt.”

“Oh.”                                  

“Yeah,” Papyrus shifted. “Look, what’s your name, kid?”

The kid narrowed his eyes, but answered quickly, “Red.”

“Look, Red, all I really wanted to do is give you this stuff, okay?”

“Why?” Red asked. “I’m not homeless.”

“Coulda fooled me, kid.”

“I’m _not_ homeless and I don’t need your handouts. I can take care of myself just fine.”

Papyrus cocked a brow at that. “Oh, is that why you’re sleeping in the street?”

Red glanced away, jaw clenched so tightly it looked like he might snap a tooth. Papyrus couldn’t help but stare at the little skeleton’s teeth, at the way they were filed to harsh points. He’d heard about Red Monsters modifying their bodies so that they could deal more damage in a fight, but to see it up close like this was something else.   

“I got in a bit of an argument with the guy I’m crashing with, okay?” Red let out a little breath and rubbed at his face. “It’s not that big of a deal. I got plenty of places to crash, just didn’t feel like moving. So yeah, I’m not homeless. Not even a little bit, asshole.”

Still, Papyrus didn’t quite believe the kid. One look at Red and Papyrus could tell the skeleton had been living rough for a while. Besides, he was ‘crashing’ places? That seemed to imply he lacked a permanent living space and yeah, maybe that meant he wasn’t sleeping on the street, but it still meant he didn’t have a home.

Papyrus let out a breath, a deep exhaustion settling over his bones. He shouldn’t have agreed to come down here on his own. He should have insisted Sans come with him, because when Papyrus went places alone, he ended up in dumb situations like this. He ended up thinking too damn much and thinking was _awful_. _It hurt._

“Look, just take the stuff okay?” Papyrus waggled the bag, “You can just throw it away if you want. But just take it. Please.”

Red eyed him and for a second it looked like he was going to refuse, but then he grabbed the bag from Papyrus’s hands. “Fine. Now will you leave me the fuck alone?”

“Whatever you want, pal.” Papyrus said was all too glad to oblige.

 

* * *

 

Ever since he was a kid, Red had been good at finding ways to get by. He knew how to needle people into giving him what he needed, knew who to befriend and who to piss off in order to stay alive. After Boss made it big, Red hadn’t had to worry so much about others, but even when Red was out of practice after spending so long under Boss’s thumb, that didn’t mean he’d lost his people skills just yet.

It took Red just two weeks after ditching Boss to work out a semi-permanent place to stay. Grillby’s was practically perfect. The flame-monster had given Red a corner in the store room and so long as Red stayed out of the way and helped the monster with whatever tasks he needed, Grillby didn’t give Red much trouble. Fuck, he fed Red more than Boss did most days and didn’t even hit him. Mostly Grillby just ignored him until he needed Red for something.

Then the asshole had decided to kick Red out for the night, all because Red had gotten a little drunk and just a teensy bit high. All because Red had decided that maybe, just maybe, he deserved to feel good for a few hours. Apparently Grillby had disagreed with Red’s thoughts. Apparently the monster’s modus operandi of “you ignore me, and I ignore you” went out the door the moment he saw the empty look in Red’s eyes.

Now Red was wandering through the alleyways around the edge of Underfell, wondering if he needed to scout out a new place to stay. He certainly _could._ There were a few places he had yet to try, some monsters that still knew how to keep their mouths shut, but Red just didn’t want to even _start_ down that road _._

Because Grillby’s had been so damn perfect. No one fucked with the place, not with the flame monster there to keep an eye on it, and Grillby hadn’t even asked a lot of Red. Once or twice a week he would send Red to pick up supplies and more often than not the skeleton was expected to clean up the bar for the night, but god, that was nothing compared to what Boss used to make him do.

And Red had just fucked it up because Red fucked everything up sooner or later.

The skeleton stopped, squeezing his eyes shut as a wave of anxiety overtook him because leave it to Red to get so anxious he _literally froze._ Leave it to Red to be _that goddamn weak._

 

And of course his mind chose that moment to conjure up a picture of Boss, the way it always did when Red took a second to remind himself how pathetic he was, and in a moment, the image had churned, changing into the orange skeleton Red had talked to that morning.

After his first meeting with Boss’s double, Red had looked into the guy. Found out what he could about Sans and the orange tree known as Papyrus. Apparently the two had been coming down here for years now and, though soft monsters like them were normally crucified the moment they ventured into the hellhole that was Underfell, these two had managed to wheedle their way in. They’d picked the most miserable section of Underfell to try and improve and so far, they’d been lucky enough to keep from pissing off anyone important.

It the two had tried to infiltrate Boss's territory, they'd have been dead with the week. Boss wouldn't haven even needed a good reason to kill them. All he'd need to know was the fact that Sans and Papyrus were outsiders and the bastard would set to tearing them limb from limb. 

Fuck.

Why did Red want to go home so badly again? Why did Papyrus make him feel so gut-wrenchingly homesick? Besides their height, Papyrus and Boss didn’t even look that much alike. Papyrus was so much _softer._ Even the way he spoke lacked Boss’s ferocity. Besides, the goddamn orange hoodie was enough to make the two look so drastically different that they were practically incomparable. Red couldn’t remember a time when he’d seen Boss where anything other than black and crimson, after all.

 

Funny how Red still couldn’t stop comparing the two, though. Was he just that desperate to find something that reminded him of home? That he’d compare an Orange Monster to his brother?

 

Expect, no. Red forcibly stopped himself from venturing down _that_ particular rabbit hole. It wasn’t going to lead to anything good, after all. There was no wonderland down there, just more hell.

Besides, Red needed to focus on the important things, like _survival._ He needed to be thinking of where he was going to sleep tonight, because if Grillby was done humoring him once and for all, then Red needed a back-up plan. He couldn’t sleep outside another night in a row. Red could keep himself safe from attacks, that had never been an issue, but if someone recognized him he was screwed. All it would take was one rumor and Boss would come looking.

And if Boss came to _this_ section of Underfell, well, Red would be out of hiding places then. The only other sector leader that could stand up to Boss was Undyne, and venturing into her territory was as good as asking for a death sentence. She _hated_ Red. She’d sooner go against Boss and kill Red than report the tiny skeleton to his brother.

So Red needed a place to sleep, because he needed a place to hide, because god knew Boss would never stop hunting him.  Not until the entire Underground caved in.

Letting out a breath, Red called forth his magic. The last thing he thought about before teleporting his pitiful ass to Grillby’s was the way Papyrus’s eyes had seemed so genuinely kind when he’d asked Red his name.

And what the hell was that thought doing in Red’s brain? Monsters weren’t _kind._ Boss had taught Red that much at least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i promise i'm still working on under dark, I'm just in a crumbling headspace rn and need something a little less plot heavy to do for a while.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Red runs into Sans. And against his better judgement, he decides to help his double out.

 

* * *

Red awoke to a sharp kick to the skull. His vision went white and he immediately scrambled away from his attacker, his back slamming against a wall, head down and submissive, the posture Boss liked for Red to assume after a blow like that.  

“I thought I told you to get out.”

Oh. That wasn’t Boss. Months away from the man, and Red still expected to find the skeleton towering over him, threatening to shred him if he didn’t get out of bed.

Red blinked, rubbing at his eye sockets, before looking up at the fire elemental Grillby. After a week of crashing in abandoned houses and calling in favors, Red had snuck back into Grillby’s storeroom, taking his normal spot between the crates of food, settling on the soft pallet in the corner. He’d been glad to see that Grillby had yet to clear away his things and had taken that as a sign that the monster wasn’t really serious about kicking him out.

Red had stayed away a week. Surely if he groveled well enough now, Grillby would let him stay?

“Fuck, Grillbz,” Red rubbed at his skull, hating the terrible grating noise the crack made when he ran his fingers across it. “Way to kick a guy when he’s down.”

“If you don’t get your sorry ass out of my bar, I’ll do a lot more than kick.”

Red glanced down, feeling a cold wash of dread come over him. He didn’t want to be kicked out. He so _badly_ wanted to stay but he knew that he’d always been asking a lot of Grillby. He knew more than most about Red’s past and instead of disgusting him, that knowledge had just seemed to deepen Grillby's resolve to help the tiny skeleton. The man had let him stay here out of some sick sort of pity, allowing Red to stay here even when he knew the dangers involved with associating with the little monster.

Grillby was just like that though. He was one of those monsters who had to work so _hard_ at being bad when really, deep down, he was just kind. So Grillby was harsh and brutal, obut he was also merciful, and _goddamn_. Red wanted to spit at the god who would force a monster like Grillby to be born with Red Magic. The elemental should be allowed to be good. Instead he was stuffed down in this hell.

After a horrible stretch of silence, the elemental turned away from him. “You smell like shit. Wash your hands before coming into the kitchen, all right?”

“Yes sir,” Red mock saluted, ignoring the relief that made his soul hum.

 

* * *

 

Red was dragging a bag of trash into the alley behind Grillby's when he ran into the blueberry (Papyrus had called him Sans, but damn, it didn't help Red that the kid looked exactly like a blown up little fruit ball). The kid had his head pressed against the stone wall of the alley and was making small hiccupping sounds that might be sobs. Red glanced around, but couldn’t see Papyrus anywhere.

Papyrus had said he came down here to protect the kid, so what the hell was Sans doing all alone? Red had never talked to Sans himself, but he _knew_ Blue didn’t belong here. The kid was gonna get hurt wandering around alone and from the way he held himself, his entire body rigid against the wall, Red could only assume he already had.

But then, why should Red care if the idiot had gotten himself hurt? Sans didn’t belong here. He should have learned to stay away by now. Hell, Red should teach the kid the lesson himself. Better him than a monster looking for free EXP after all.

Or Red could just ignore this situation entirely, which sounded tempting, but then the skeleton thought of the blanket that had come in his ‘goody bag’, how it was so much softer than anything Red had ever been given before. He thought of the hand drawn card, signed with blue crayon of all things, that had come with it and let out a breath. Red knew more than most what it was like to be scared and alone. He wasn’t gonna leave the blueberry until he knew Sans was okay.

Red let the trash bag drop to the ground, causing a loud thump. Sans startled and Red could see the telltale dampness on his cheekbones that said he’d been crying. He immediately tried to smile, to pretend that nothing was wrong, like Red couldn’t see the signs of a fight on him. Like Red didn’t know what monster blood smelled like.

“I didn’t see you there,” Sans said, swallowing hard. He wasn’t afraid, which was both a little disappointing and a relief. Maybe he didn’t think of Red as a threat, because Red was so small? Or maybe the kid was just like that. Maybe he just thought the best of people. “Am I bothering you? Sorry. I didn’t mean to be a nuisance.… I was just…”

At that, the kid’s eyes teared up again and he glanced away sharply, stubbornly keeping the tears from falling.

Shit. This kid was way too cute to be here. He was like a little puppy dog and a kicked one at that. Red hurried back inside, slamming the door behind him, ignoring Sans’s call for him to wait, and braced himself against the door to catch his breath. He felt his soul shudder, something heavy settling over his bones.

Red knew should teach the kid to stay away from this place. It would save Sans in the long run. Hell, it would probably make Papyrus’s life easier too, if Red took this moment to shatter Sans’s innocence and chase him away once and for all, but god, all Red could think of was Boss as a kid.   All he could think was how Boss would get that same stubborn look on his face whenever he was trying to stop himself from crying.  

Red returned to the alleyway and Sans’s face lit up at the sight of him. Which was stupid. The kid didn’t know shit about Red. He should be weary, not delighted. Red sat on the stoop and motioned for the kid to sit beside him.

“Oh, you want company?” Sans brightened, all too happy to oblige. He bounced over to Red and plopped down, immediately launching into an excited flurry of questions. If it weren’t for the smell of blood on the kid, Red would’ve thought everything was okay now.

As it was, he could see the blue bandana wrapped tightly around Sans’s left arm, working as a makeshift bandage, and the bruising on his skull. On top of that, Sans held his hand like it might be injured and sat oddly, leading Red to assume there was something wrong with his ribs. Whoever had attacked the kid probably hadn’t meant business—it was likely Sans would be little more than dust if they did—but they had wanted to hurt the kid.

The entire time Red inspected him, the kid didn’t stop blabbering. No wonder he’d been attacked. Sans was really annoying.

Shaking his head, Red reached into the bag he’d retrieved from Grillby’s and pulled out a candy bar to offer to the kid.

Sans immediately stopped talking, eyes going wide. “This is for me?”

“Yeah.”

The kid looked doubtful. Did he think it was poisoned? Red had chosen the prewrapped chocolate for a reason; it was nearly impossible to taint it, but maybe the kid didn’t know that? Before Red could offer to test the chocolate himself, the kid shifted and said, “that’s super nice of you but I don’t want to intrude! You all have so little down here. I wouldn’t want to…”

Red glared at him. “You’re bleeding, sweetheart. Chocolate will help you heal.”

Sans glanced down, bubbly demeanor fading immediately. “No. I’m fine. It’s nothing. You keep it yourself, that way if you get hurt, you’ll have it!”

A growl escaped Red’s throat before he could stop it and he didn’t like the way Sans flinched back from the noise. “You know, for a kid who focuses so much of his energy on helping us assholes, you sure don’t like it when someone tries to return the favor. Take it. It’s about time someone around here tried to be a decent shit and helped you. I mean, god, did any of the fuckers that you talk to every week even look up when you walked by smelling like blood?”

“They were just—“

“Being _weak_ ,” Red spat. He ran a hand across his face, forcing himself to calm, and waggled the chocolate bar, “just take it, kid.”

Sans did so, eyes sparkling with thanks.

“So where’s your shadow, sweetheart? I’m sure he’s worried about you,” Red said, and knew it had to be true. In all the rumors Red had heard about the two brothers, one thing remained consistent: Sans was _never_ without Papyrus.

Sans paused mid-bite, eyes slipping to the ground.

Red felt a sudden spark of protectiveness. Maybe Papyrus and Boss had more in common than just looks. Maybe they both liked to have a punching bag nearby. Maybe Sans hadn’t been attacked by one of Red’s brethren after all. The mere thought of someone treating Sans like Red had been treated made a growl rise in Red’s throat. He swallowed it down and tried not to jump to conclusions.

Papyrus had seemed nice enough, but Red knew that no one was _really_ nice. They were all just pretending. The best you could get from a monster was mercy.

“He wasn’t the one who did this to you, now, was he?” Red asked.

Sans’s eyes widened. “No! Paps couldn’t hurt a fly!” He huffed and looked down at the ground, “we just got—we got jumped and got separated. I don’t—I don’t know where he is.” And the kid began sob quietly. Again.

Unsure of what to do, Red offered him a brisk pat on the shoulder. He’d seen monsters do that before. That’s how you tried to comfort someone, right? It must’ve set off a bomb in the kid’s brain though, because Sans immediately sprang forward to pull Red into a massive hug.

Which fuck, no. Red did not like that one bit. He didn’t like to be touched at all really.

 Red’s eye flared and he grit his teeth, forcing his flight or fight instincts to calm the fuck down because god damn it, this kid wasn’t going to hurt him. Sans was scared and just because Red was a fucked up bastard whose mind didn’t know the difference a hug and a punch, that didn’t give him an excuse to scare the kid any worse.

He finally broke and pushed Sans away, hands shaking, breath coming in quick, sharp rasps. Sans gave him a worried look, but didn’t say anything. Instead he just scooted a little further away and watched as Red took a moment to calm himself.

“I’m sorry,” he squeaked after a long moment.

Red wiped the sweat off his brow, “no harm done, sweetheart. I’m a panicky piece of shit. Not your fault you pushed one of my buttons.”

“I should have asked before hugging you,” Sans said.

Red blinked at him, confused. People didn’t even ask before _fucking_ Red half the time, why should they ask before hugging him? It didn’t matter if he was uncomfortable. All that mattered was that the kid had stopped crying.

“Gosh, I need to find Papy,” Sans whimpered then. “He’s probably worried sick.”

Red didn’t doubt that what the kid said was true, but if Papyrus was anything like Red’s brother, he would tear the entire underground apart before he gave up looking for Sans. A thought that, in Sans’s case, was probably comforting.

“He’ll turn up eventually,” Red said after a moment. “In the meantime you just rest here, okay?”

Which what the hell was he saying? He’d just convinced Grillby to let him return that morning, but a part of Red knew the elemental wouldn’t turn the kid away. Maybe if Sans was an Underfell native, but he wasn’t, and Grillby wouldn’t condemn an innocent monster like Sans to the streets.

“No, I couldn’t intrude like that,” Sans started, waving his hands in front of himself. “I need to find Paps. I need to get going and—” He made to leave and Red caught him by the wrist, pulling him back to the stoop. The kid’s bones were so smooth and white. How was the kid so white?

Shaking away the thought, Red flashed Sans a withering look. “Kid, you smell like blood. Do you know what that means around here? We’re like goddamn sharks, sweetheart. We smell blood and all we can picture is a hunk of meat.”

That made Sans falter, his eyes downcast.

“Look, the worst thing you can do to your brother right now, is wander out there and get killed. Rest. Heal up and if he doesn’t show up soon, I’ll take you to the border myself and you can see if he’s at home, okay?” When Sans still looked uncertain, Red added, “If he doesn’t find you here, that’s where he’ll go to look. That’s where the guard is. It’s the only place he’ll get any help, so that’s where he’ll go.”

At least, that’s what Red would do if he was a spoiled little orange like Papyrus. 

Sans finally let out a breath. “Okay,” he said.

“Okay, then. We got a hideout, we got a course of action, in the meantime how bout we see if I can get us a meal too? You look like you could use the boost in magic.”

Sans brightened at that and Red helped hoist the kid to his feet. God, Sans was so goddamn trusting. Was that what happened when your whole life wasn’t kill or be killed? Was everyone on the other side of the border like this? Whatever, it wasn’t like Red was ever going to be able to leave Underfell. There was no sense thinking about things like that now.

“Well, kid,” Red opened the door to Grillby’s, letting Sans enter first, “welcome to the dankest bar this side of the Underground."

* * *

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Red helps Sans out. Grillby tells him not to get too attached.

* * *

 

Sans had been to this part of Underfell a hundred times by now, but never once had he walked into Grillby’s. Papy said the place was dangerous, but he said that about all of Underfell (and he was right, wasn’t he? That’s how the two of them had gotten separated after all). Still, Sans had listened to his brother and had given Grillby’s a wide berth.

The monsters here weren’t like the monsters Sans looked after. They were strong and vicious and _hungry._ They were the very creatures that gave Red Magic such a bad name.

Except for Red. There was something in the little skeleton that just screamed kindness. Sans couldn’t look at the monster and imagine him having anything other than a soft soul. 

Red took Sans through the backdoor of the bar, into a hallway that led to the kitchens. To the left was a set of stairs, scuffed and worn looking, and to the right was a door to the rest of the restaurant. Instead of taking Sans that way, Red led him through the kitchen and into a large storeroom. The place was dark and musty smelling, boxes upon boxes stacked around them. Sans peaked in one, curious, and found it was filled with spider whiskey.

Which, this was a bar of course, but still. Sans had never seen so much alcohol in his life.

Red cleared his throat and Sans glanced up. The monster was in the back corner of the storeroom. Sans drew closer and found there was a makeshift nest on the ground, blankets and towels and a lone pillow bunched together to resemble a dog bed. Boxes were stacked high around the place, creating a small room-like structure that was a little smaller than Sans’s closet. Red pushed Sans down onto the pallet before turning away.

He stopped and glanced back at Sans sheepishly, “uh, you stay here. I gotta talk to Grillby and then I’ll grab us some grub, okay?”

Sans flashed the monster a thumbs up and Red’s mouth quirked upwards in an almost smile before he left Sans alone in the structure.

Sans pushed some of the blankets around. They were coarse and smelled a little of alcohol and fear-sweat, and his eyes caught on something blue at the bottom of the pile. Sans picked it up and found one of the blankets he put in his care packages. It was a little stained, one corner tattered, but it was bounds softer than the rest of the pile.

There was an open box in one of the corners, candy wrappers and a few empty water bottles piled around it. Sans went and glanced inside to find it filled with a worn backpack, a toothbrush, and a Rubrik's Cube. He found one of his cards there as well, the bright blue of the paper seeming out of place among the reds and blacks of the monster’s other belongings.

The funny thing was, Sans didn’t remember giving Red a care package and Sans remembered _every_ monster he helped. That meant Paps must’ve been the one to give it to Red which… that was a little heartening. It was nice to know that Red had his brother’s approval because any monster Papy trusted was a monster Sans considered his friend.

Not wanting to be caught snooping, Sans settled back in the pallet, pulling one of the blankets over his legs.

He wished Papyrus was here. When the fight had started, Sans had been scared, but he hadn’t been _worried._ Not until he’d looked up and realized Paps was _gone._ But it was fine. It was all okay. Papyrus _had_ to be okay. His brother was strong and fast; Paps could even beat Alphys in a fight when he felt up to it, so he had to be okay.

By the time Red returned, Sans had worked himself into another fit. He was crying softly, his knees tucked against his chest, trying his best to calm himself down with little success.

“Aw, shit,” Red huffed, setting a large brown bag on the ground before sitting next to Sans. He didn’t come very close, instead leaving ample room between the two of them, but he reached over and offered Sans a few pats on the shoulder.

“You’re gonna be okay, sweetheart,” Red said, pulling his hand away. “I promise you it’s gonna be okay.”

Sans swallowed hard. “What if Paps got hurt?”

That made the other skeleton pause and, instead of offering some blind assurances the way Papyrus or Alphys would have, Red let out a little hum, thoughtful. “When I first met your brother, I checked his soul. The tree is pretty tough and he has a decent amount of HP. So whoever attacked him was either strong or just plain stupid, and I’m guessing the latter, because there aren’t that many strong monsters around here and there are even fewer who would give enough fucks about you and your brother to try and attack you two. So yeah, Orange Tree is probably fine. Maybe a little beat up, but fine.”

Sans swallowed hard. “Thanks,” he said.

Red shrugged before rolling to his feet and grabbing the brown bag he’d brought in from earlier. He produced two takeout containers and a first aid kit. “I didn’t know what you’d like, so I just got you the same thing as me,” he said, offering a container to Sans. “Hope that’s okay.”

“Thank you,” Sans said again.

“No problem, kid. Now how about you let me get a look at your arm while you eat?”

“I’m fine,” Sans said, feeling a little sheepish.

“If you don’t want me to look at it, that’s okay,” Red shrugged. “But you smell like blood, sweetheart, and take it from me when I say that a marrow infection isn’t fun.”

Sans wrung the hem of his shirt, eyes downcast. He had no doubt that Red knew his stuff when it came to injuries, the split in Red’s skull spoke volumes after all, but Sans just—he wanted Papyrus. It was stupid and childish, but Sans wanted Papyrus here to patch him up. Letting anyone else see to his wounds just felt like a betrayal.

Red seemed to fold in on himself, suddenly anxious in the face of Sans’s silence. “I-I mean I get it if you don’t trust me to know how. I wouldn’t trust me either. I’m just a dumb skeleton after all, I mean, what the hell do I know?” Red frowned, beginning to pick at his knuckles. “What the hell do I know?” he repeated, voice soft, eyes going somewhere far away.

Sans laid a hand on Red’s knee and the skeleton stilled immediately, looking up to Sans’s face. The blank look in his eyes reminded Sans a little bit of a child. “Thank you, Red,” Sans said firmly. “I trust you. That’s not it at all. I just don’t like the idea of you using all your medicine on me.”

“Oh,” some of the tension drained from Red’s shoulders and his confidence returned quickly. He wiped at his nose and grinned, “Ah, well, you shouldn’t worry about that. This isn’t even mine. It’s Grillby’s and he has plenty of shit already, so you don’t gotta worry about it.”

Not wanting to upset the other skeleton again, Sans untied the bandana from his arm and allowed Red to get a look at the wound. The slash wasn’t pretty. The cat monster that had given it to Sans had had claws that were filed down to needle-like points. The awful appendages had slid through Sans’s humerus like the skeleton’s bones were made of Styrofoam. Now, marrow leaked from the wound, ugly against the white of Sans’s bones.

Red let out a whistle. “Fuck. The asshole almost broke the thing.” His eyes darkened a little and he began to treat the wound, spraying a sharp smelling ointment over the slashes. “You see who did it at all?”

“Some tabby monster.”

Red’s brow furrowed and he seemed to be thinking hard. “Was he with a Snowdrake and a bird-looking thing?”

Sans nodded and Red let out another string of curses, tying a bandage to Sans’s arm. The gauze immediately reddened, but he kept wrapping it until the blood couldn’t soak through.

“Good news is your brother is probably fine then,” Red explained. “The tabby that went after you is a low-level monster named Bradshaw. His gang is a bunch of idiots, always looking for some free EXP. They probably thought you and Orange Tree would be easy pickings.”

“And the bad news?” Sans asked, moving to pick up his food. It turned out to be a burger and fries, greasy, but meaty with a strong aftertaste of smoke.

Red turned to his own meal. “Bad news is now I got a bone to pick with them and they ain’t gonna like that.”

Sans felt a chill run down his spine. He looked to Red and for the first time since meeting the skeleton, realized that this monster was just as dangerous as everyone else in Underfell. Maybe even more so. “You’re going to hurt them?”

Red blinked and looked to Sans, surprised by the question, before looking back to his food. “Probably.”

“You shouldn’t do that,” Sans said.

Red’s jaw tightened. “True, but sometimes you gotta do bad stuff to get by, you know?”

“But they aren’t attacking you. There’s no reason for you to go after them. They barely hurt me and you said Papyrus is probably fine. They just—they were just doing what they thought they had to. You shouldn’t hurt them for that!”

Red flinched away from Sans, eyes going a little wide, and gave a small nod. “Whatever you say, sweetheart,” he muttered.

But Sans could tell he didn’t really mean it.  

 

* * *

 

Red left Sans to rest in the storeroom, giving the blue skeleton strict orders to stay put before heading outside and nearly crashing into Grillby. Red let out a startled yelp, flinching back against the kitchen cabinets, and Grillby flashed him a withering look in response. The elemental didn’t like that Red was still so afraid of him, but Red couldn’t help it. Because when you really got down to it, there wasn’t a damn thing Red _wasn’t_ afraid of. 

“How’s the stray?” Grillby asked.

“Good. Fine.” Red sucked in a breath, forcibly calming himself, “Thanks for letting us use the first aid kit, by the way.”

Grillby just shrugged, turning to grab some ingredients out of the cabinets. The dinner rush would be starting in an hour and the elemental liked to have a few dishes ready before then. When Grillby didn’t move to say more, Red started towards the door to the back alley, only to stop when the bartender called his name.

“If your brother finds out you’re here, you know I can’t stop him from taking you,” Grillby said matter-of-factly, not even turning away from his work at the stove.  

Red glanced back at the elemental, confused as to why the man had brought this up now. He found that, though Grillby’s attention was still steadfastly focused on the stove, there was an unusual stiffness in his shoulders, like the elemental was straining against a terrible weight. Which maybe he was. It was no secret that Grillby hated the idea of Red returning to his brother.

But it was inevitable that such a thing would happen. In Red’s mind, the question wasn’t _if_ his brother found him, it was _when,_ but Grillby had always been pretty hopeful that Boss would never find him. Red had stopped trying to get him to see the truth. He didn’t like the sad look Grillby got whenever Red tried.  

“What’s this about, Grillbz?” Red asked, then grinned widely. “Aw, don’t tell me you’re gonna miss me when I’m gone.”

“Please. It’ll be a _relief_.” Grillby scoffed and Red could practically _hear_ the eye roll that accompanied that statement. “No, Red, I was just trying to warn you.”

“Of something I’m already well aware of?” Red snorted, the sound far from amused, “believe me, I know better than anyone else what my brother is capable of.”

“Then you want to keep him from finding you, yes?”

“Fuck, what sort of question is that?! Of course I want to keep him away!”

“Then you ought to leave the Bradshaw boys alone.”

 _Oh_.

Red went stiff, all of the fight draining from his shoulders. He focused his gaze on the scuffed up soles of his shoes and remained quiet, because, really, what was he supposed to say to that? Grillby had hit the nail on the head with that one.

“If word gets around about Sans and Papyrus sparing the Bradshaw’s, everyone’s gonna start thinking the brothers are fair game,” Red said.

Grillby cocked a brow at that, “and why should you care if they do?”

“Because.”

“Ah, what an enlightening explanation,” Grillby scoffed.

Red let out a huff of air. He caught himself picking at his knuckles again and forced himself to stop.

Grillby was right. Why should Red care if Sans and Papyrus became Underfell’s newest play things? It wasn’t like it really affected Red in anyway if the two got dusted. In fact, if today was any show of things, it would actually save the skeleton a lot of trouble.

Despite that, Red couldn’t let himself do _nothing._ The skeleton didn’t consider himself a sociable monster, he didn’t consider himself a kind person, but Sans and Papyrus made him _want_ to be those things. They made Red want to care and that was new. It was so different from anything that Red was used to and he wanted to hold onto the feeling with all his might.

Grillby seemed to sense his thoughts, because the bartender quickly leveled a withering look at the smaller monster. “Red, please, think about this. The Bradshaw’s aren’t tough, but they’re a high enough level that dusting them would draw some unwanted attention. You’re supposed to be a 1 HP nobody, remember? What are people gonna think when they hear you took out all those assholes on your own? Do you really think they aren’t gonna talk? Do you really think your brother won’t hear about it and come looking?”

“No, I—”

“I’m not telling you to sit around and do nothing, I’m just asking you to be smart about this. Take the stray to the border. Tell his brother to keep him away from now on, okay?”

Red let out a breath, tension leaking from his jaw. “Sure,” Red said, pinching the bridge of his nose. That should work, right? It shouldn’t be too hard for Red to convince a couple of soft do-gooders to leave hell alone after all.

* * *

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Red takes Sans to the border and tries to reason with Papyrus and Alphys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all's comments warm my heart. thank you so much to everyone who's read this story so far! and double thanks to those who commented!! I love hearing what y'all think of it. 
> 
> and holy moly! six hundred hits in twelve days?! I'm flattered.

* * *

Sans had never traveled through Underfell after dark. It was dangerous. The worse of the monsters came out after dark, as though their power made them nocturnal. So a part of Sans couldn’t stop the fear from trilling up his spine the moment he stepped out into the alley behind Grillby’s. Red followed right behind him. He had his hood drawn up, the bright red of his eye lights casting odd shadows across his face.

“Okay, kid,” Red sucked in a breath, glancing down the alley to make sure they were alone. “How ‘bout you take my hand for a sec, okay?”

Sans obeyed, startled by the offer. So far Red had seemed averse to touch, jumping whenever Sans drew to close. The moment Sans wrapped his hand around Red’s, there was an intense feeling of vertigo. Sans let out a little squeak, his vision going dark, and Red gave his hand a squeeze.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart,” he said and his voice was closer than Sans remembered it being, almost right by Sans’s ear. “We’re just taking a real quick shortcut, okay?”

Suddenly the world righted itself. Sans’s weight returned to him and he would have fallen if it weren’t for Red’s grip around his shoulder. Red lowered him to the ground, propping Sans against a stone before moving away from him. The two of them were situated in a crater, right behind a large pile of stones. Sans recognized the terrain and knew they were near the border, but he would be lying if he said he had ever been to this spot before.

His eyes shot to Red. “You _teleported_?”

“Kind of. I meant it when I called it a shortcut,” Red shrugged, like that was any sort of answer. He pushed his hood down and Sans found that the bright red of his eyes had settled back to a light pink. He immediately seemed friendlier as a result. “I would’ve gotten us closer, but I’ve never gone any further than this. Didn’t want to risk getting lost.”

“Lost?”

“Yeah. Hey, do me a favor, kid? If you can, maybe don’t tell anyone I can do this? I’d rather keep it close to the chest, you know?”

Sans brightened. So Red had just trusted him with a secret? Did that mean the other skeleton thought of Sans as his friend? Then Sans’s smile fell because, _oh._ No wonder Red wanted to keep his abilities from being known. If the guard knew a Red Monster had a power like this, that would cause pandemonium. The idea that a monster could just teleport past the border without anyone knowing _was terrifying._ Not to Sans, because he knew Red, but to anyone else? They would hunt Red down if they knew what he could do.

The sound of monsters talking in the distance caused Red to stiffen. He immediately pulled Sans close, his breath coming in quick gasps. It was easy for Sans to recognize the voices though. He was friends with most of the monsters protecting the border.  

“It’s just the guard,” Sans huffed, pushing Red’s hand from his mouth. He scrambled out of the crater. The guards had just passed their hiding spot, so Sans set to waving his arms. “Alphys! Doggo! Hi guys!”

Alphys was the first to turn, her good eye widening the moment she spotted Sans. She dropped her battle axe and came charging forward, wrapping Sans in a tight hug.

“Sans! Goddamn, you’re alive! Your brother had me worried sick! We sent half the guards out to look for your skinny blue ass!”

“So Papy is okay?” Sans asked, relief making his soul feel light.

“Yeah. A little beat up and pissed as hell that I made him stay at the station while we looked for you, but he’s fine. He’ll be better after he sees that you’re all right.” Alphys laughed, the noise booming, then stopped suddenly, her eyes narrowing on something behind Sans.

Sans’s stomach dropped. He’d forgotten about Red. The other skeleton had scrambled out of their hiding place while Alphys talked and was now standing at the edge of the crater, hands stuffed in his pockets, looking like he wanted nothing more than for the earth to come up and swallow him whole. The moment he sensed Alphys looking at him, he met the lizard's eye with a crimson glare.

Sans felt Alphy’s muscles tense and quickly jumped between the two monsters before a fight could start, arms outstretched. “Alph, he’s okay! That’s my friend Red! He’s not here to cause any trouble!”

Doggo came up beside Alphys, Dogressa and Dogamy bristling at his side. Red let out a small noise, too soft for the guards to hear, and Sans laid a hand on his shoulder. The skeleton immediately jerked out of Sans’s grasp, bearing his teeth like a dog. This only seemed to unsettle the guards more and Sans quickly moved to defuse the situation.

He suddenly understood why Red had tried to hide from the guard, but in Sans’s eyes, the guard were his protectors and friends. It was strange to see someone act so fearfully towards them.

“Alphys, it’s okay! Red helped me get here! And he patched me up after I got hurt!” Sans pointed to the bandage on his arm.

Alphys flashed Red a suspicious look. “And why the hell did you do that?”

“Not all of us Red Monsters deserve the south end of an axe,” Red spat, making the guards flinch. “Or would you rather I had just left Sans to fend for himself? I mean, isn’t that what you guards do when you see a Red Monster in need of some help? You just leave them to die?”

At that, Alphys surged forward and Sans had to lunge in front of her to keep her from grabbing Red. Alphys was strong. Sans knew if she really wanted to, she could throw Sans off her in an instant, but she didn’t. Alphys honestly didn’t want to hurt anyone. Sans wouldn’t be such good friends with her if she did. Her muscles twitched beneath Sans’s touch, teeth gnashing, but she didn’t try to move forward. Meanwhile Red’s left eye was glowing brightly in an awful show of magic and his grin had widened, looking more like a snarl than anything else.

Alphys pointed a claw at him, “You. Go home.”

“Can’t.”

Sans glanced back at the skeleton, confused by the refusal, “Red?”

Red glanced down, wringing his knuckles. “I gotta talk to your brother about something real important, sweetheart. I can’t go until I do, else I’d’ve already booked it outta here. Trust me, looking at her ugly mug isn’t exactly fun,” Red said, nodding towards Alphys.

Wanting nothing more than to diffuse the current hostility between the two, Sans gave Alphys his sappiest smile, “Come on, Alphie. You aren’t gonna beat up my rescuer, are you? All he wants to do is talk to Papy, after all…”  

Alphys turned away with a growl. “Fine,” she snapped, then glared at Red, “but if you think I’m letting you get away with any bullshit, you are dead wrong. You try something funny and I’ll be wearing your teeth around my neck.”

Red grinned, holding up his hands in mock surrender. “Wouldn’t even dream of it, doll face.”

          

* * *

 

Red had never ventured this close to the border before. He’d never had any reason to. Unlike most monsters who tried to sneak past the border and into safer lives, Red knew better. There was no hiding your soul. The only thing waiting on the other side of Underfell was pain and hatred. Maybe it _was_ better. Maybe Red was wrong, but the skeleton had always preferred the devil he knew. It was the reason why he’d stayed with his brother for so long. Red didn’t like change.

So he was genuinely surprised to see how _nice_ everything looked around here. There were guard towers built, tents situated among the curves of the stone, buildings looming in the distance, and it was all so clean and white. The buildings weren’t just the bare minimum either. They weren’t the ugly blocks of grey stone Red was used to, they were _pretty._

The border was built at the narrowest section of the Underground, the entire expanse only eight miles long, but god, if this outpost didn’t feel like the biggest place Red had ever seen. It was the way the buildings were placed, he realized. Underfell was pressed for space, buildings crammed together so the entire place was little more than a maze of alleyways. This place had _courtyards._

Of course the lizard had to immediately ruin it by leaning close to Red’s ear and growling, “don’t get any ideas, asshole.”

Red snarled at her, bristling like a dog, but hunched deeper into the confines of his jacket, hiding his chin in the fur of his hood. It smelled like street water and garbage. It reminded Red that Underfell was exactly where he belonged.

Red picked up his pace, drawing closer to Sans, and ducked his head low, hoping not the draw any more attention to himself. Which, fuck, what was he thinking? The monsters here were trained to sniff out Red Magic. There was no hiding what he was among these bloodhounds. And even if Red _could_ hide his magic, it was still disgustingly obvious that he was a Red Monster. He was dirty and scarred and ugly. He stuck out like a sore thumb among all this pretty.

Sans let out an excited yelp, pulling Red from his thoughts, and went dashing forward. Papyrus was sitting on the ground outside of a medical tent, sulking, but the moment he saw Sans his entire face lit up. He made to stand, but the smaller skeleton tackled him before he could, wrapping his arms around Papyrus’s stomach, and the two fell back in a tangle of bones.

The two were laughing. Papyrus pushed himself up and nuzzled the top of Sans head, the motion sickly sweet. Red found he was grinning just from watching them and he _hated_ it. How could monsters be so adorable? Besides, Orange Tree was supposed to be an ass. He shouldn’t be such a good older brother.

“God, Sans. I was so worried about you! I’m never letting you out of my sight again, you hear? I’m getting a goddamn child leash for you.”

Sans laughed, pushing at Papyrus’s chest, “ _You_ were worried?! I thought for sure you were dead, you lazybones!”

“Aw, Sans, my poor injured pride,” Papyrus teased. Then turned serious, “but are you okay? You didn’t get hurt too badly did you?”

“Nope!” Sans said, popping the ‘p’ at the end. “I made a friend though! He patched up my arm. See? It’s almost as good as when you do it!” Sans waggled his injured arm, pointing to Red’s handy work.

“Oh? And who is this mystery savior of yours?” Papyrus asked.

At that, Red took a sheepish step forward, clearing his throat. Papyrus’s head snapped up and his brow furrowed, before he broke out beaming.

“Red?” Papyrus smiled. “You sly bastard! You’re the one who helped Sans out?”

Red shrugged, rubbing at the back of his skull.

“He lives with Grillby and he likes burgers and he drinks mustard straight out of the bottle! It’s disgusting!” Sans said, but sounded more excited than grossed out by the last statement. “ _And_ he said he knows you! And he didn’t even ask me for anything when he helped me and he gave me chocolate to get me to stop crying!”

Papyrus’s eyes didn’t leave Red the entire time Sans was talking. He gave Sans’s elbow a tight squeeze before setting his brother on the ground and standing. He looked to Sans, “why don’t you and Alphys go get your arm checked out by the doctors while I talk to our prince charming?”

Sans made a face, but quickly made to grab Alphys’s hand, dragging the lizard towards the medical tent. And Red had to admit that the little guy was a lot stronger than he looked if he could manage to get that bitch to move.

Alphys gave Red a harsh look, before grabbing Papyrus tight around the ulna and whispering something in his ear. Papyrus nodded once, shoving his hands in his hoodie pocket, before turning to Red. Then the two were alone.

Suddenly Red realized how much friendlier Sans was compared to his older brother. The little blueberry was easy to interact with, mostly because even Red’s fucked up brain couldn’t come up with a convincing reason to be afraid of the guy, but Papyrus was a different matter all together. He was huge and strong and it didn’t help one bit that he reminded Red so much of Boss.

“So you helped Sans out,” Papyrus said, voice cool. “What do you want for it? Gold? Food?”

“ _What_?”

“That’s why you came here with him, right? You want a reward.”

Red gaped at Papyrus. How could he have thought for a second that this skeleton was any different from the rest of the monsters that treated Red like trash? “You really think I’d go through this much trouble for a measly reward? Geez, if I needed gold that bad I’d’ve just ransomed the kid. More profit in that.”

Papyrus blinked at him, obviously a little startled by this answer. “So then why the hell did you help him at all?”

“Because I’m a decent guy? Lord, do you assholes always have to assume the worst of people?” Red snapped and immediately realized the hypocrisy of the statement because if any monster knew how to assume the worst, it was Red. He let out a breath, picking at his knuckles; the pain of the motion helped him focus. “Fuck, man, I just needed to talk to you. I don’t _want_ anything.”

“Sorry.”

Red glanced up sharply, surprised by the apology.  

“I’m really sorry,” Papyrus repeated sheepishly, voice a little clearer this time. “I’ve been coming down here a long time. Looks like I haven’t met every kind of monster just yet though.”

“No shit,” Red huffed, then glanced down. “Look, I was talking to Sans and I think I know the guys who attacked you and I just gotta ask, there isn’t a chance that you dusted any of them, is there?”

“What? _No_ ,” Papyrus huffed. “Who the hell do you take me for?”

 _An idiot,_ Red bit back the response, because, shit. This was exactly what he was afraid of. The only thing keeping a monster safe in Underfell was their ability to dust others. if word got out that a strong monster like Papyrus acted with mercy, well, people would start seeing the brothers as nothing more than free EXP.

Red felt a hand on his shoulder and flinched back, magic flaring. Papyrus immediately backed off, hands raised.

“Sorry man,” he said, “you just seemed real upset.”

“Why the fuck should you care if I am?” Red snarled, then glanced away sharply, sucking in a few quick breaths. Papyrus wasn’t Boss. Red shouldn’t get so freaked out when Papyrus touched him because he _wasn’t_ Boss. “Fuck, Orange Tree, just— It’s been a long night, okay? Your brother's a bit of a handful.”

It wasn’t true, but Papyrus seemed to accept the response and settled some.

“Look, here’s the thing. You need to keep your brother away from Underfell from now on, okay? Like _way_ away else you’re gonna wish that you had.”

Papyrus’s eyes narrowed. “Is that a threat?”

“Hell no, it’s a goddamn warning. You think those guys were the only ones who wanted to dust you? You two are meat down there and the only thing keeping people from attacking you is the fear that you have claws, but you just proved that you _don’t._ You spared the fuckers who cut you and now word is gonna get out that you're fair game. No one has to worry about losing to you because you aren’t gonna dust them, and that means everyone is gonna try to kill you two now. _Fucking everyone_. So no, it’s not a threat. It’s a fucking warning, and I need you to listen to it, okay? I need you and your brother to stay the hell away from this place now.” Red stopped, a little out of breath, and clenched his fists so tightly it was almost painful. “ _Please_.”

“Yeah, I wish I could tell you something else, but there is no way I’m gonna be able to convince Sans to stay away.”

Red flinched, but waited for Papyrus to continue. The lanky skeleton slumped forward a little more, the lazy curve of his spine deepening, and sighed deeply.

“I’ve been trying to get my brother to leave you fuckers alone for years now. You think I like him coming to this hellhole?” Papyrus let out a huffy little laugh, shaking his head in exasperation, “The kid is determined and when he gets his heart set on something, nothing on earth can get him to stay away.”

“He’ll die,” Red spat.

Papyrus stiffened, but managed to flash Red a lazy grin. “Trust me, there’s no way in hell I’m gonna let anyone kill my baby brother.”

Oh fuck, wasn’t that just great?  Red glared at Papyrus, despair palpable. “Then you’ll die too,” he said and god, why did that have to be true?

 

* * *

 

Alphys insisted on escorting Red back to the city, which was a little annoying, because Red could take a shortcut and be back there in the blink of an eye if she wasn’t watching, but was also a bit of a relief. The lizard was terrifying. Red had heard stories about her, heard that she was the one responsible for gouging out Undyne’s eye and vice versa. She actually reminded Red a little of the fish monster and that brought up memories that Red would rather leave buried.

But she was also Red’s last hope when it came to keeping the skeleton brothers away from Underfell. She and Sans seemed to be friends and she was a border guard. That had to give her more power over the matter than Papyrus had, right? Surely Sans couldn’t convince this Lizard to let him walk into danger the way he convinced his own brother…

“What the hell are you staring at?” Alphys asked and Red flinched, lowering his gaze. “Well?” Alphys huffed, shifting the weight of her battle axe to her opposite shoulder.

“You’re good friends with Sans, right?” Red asked.

Alphys’s face shifted. She seemed a little startled by the question. “Yeah. Why?”

“This place isn’t safe for him.” Red gestured to the awfulness around him. “You gotta keep him from coming here again,” he tried, meeting the lizard’s eyes so that she could sense his earnestness. “He’s gonna get killed. Honestly, I don’t know how he lasted so long, but I know if he comes back after what happened, he’s gonna die.”

Alphys let out a breath and turned back towards the path. She lifted her hands and let her battle axe dissipate in a puff of green magic. “Sans is real sweet, isn’t he?”

Red glanced away. “Yeah. He is.”

“What you just told me… you tried asking Papyrus to do the same thing, right?”

Red nodded.

“Then he told you that no one can really keep Sans from doing anything.”

“You’re the guard. If anyone can keep him from coming back, it’s you.”

Alphys glared at the challenge in his voice. “I keep monsters in, I don’t keep them out. If some idiot wants to sneak in and get themself killed, who am I to stop them?”

“Sans is your _friend_ ,” Red snapped. “You’re really just gonna let him die like that? You’re gonna let him die just ‘cause it’s not your job to stop him?”

“I didn’t say that!”

“You might as well have, you awful bitch!”

Alphys let out a roar and lunged for Red. The skeleton quickly rolled out of the way, her claws missing him by an inch. He kept his intentions neutral, kept his soul calm. He couldn’t let himself be sucked into a true fight, especially not with this bitch. She threw a few magic attacks, Red dodging them easily, before stopping. Her anger was still there, apparent in the glint of her eye, but she seemed to have gotten herself under control.

“You’re awful, you know that? All you Red Monsters are,” Alphys spat. She shut her eyes and sucked in a few calming breaths. “Look, I’ll do what I can, but odds are you _will_ see Sans again.”

Red clenched his jaw, but nodded. It was the best he could ask for, after all.

* * *

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Papyrus tries to repay Red for saving Sans. It does not go well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wowza! A hundred plus kudos?? Y'all are so sweet. I honestly can't believe it! I'm so glad you're enjoying it so far! I'm really enjoying writing it too. Thank you so much for reading and I hope I can continue to live up to all y'alls nice comments! 
> 
> Also a special thanks to my pal Sunny for helping me spruce up the later chapters. They were really nice and read through it all and pointed out any typos and stuff. Needless to say, they're an absolute sweetheart!

* * *

 

The thing was, Red had never once in his life  _ wanted  _ to hurt anyone. He didn’t think anyone ever really did. The problem with that though? Life didn’t really care about what you wanted. Life cared even less about what you  _ needed.  _ Honestly, Life just threw shit at you and you either learned to deal with it, or you died.

So even when Red didn’t  _ want _ to kill another monster, that didn’t mean he had never done it before. In fact, he’d done it lots of times. More than a hundred times, even.  He had so much dust on his hands sometimes he even couldn’t look at them. Sometimes Grillby would come into the kitchen and Red would be scouring his hands in the kitchen sink, steam rising around him, his bones sore from scrubbing. Grillby never yelled at Red when he caught the skeleton doing this. He would just very firmly tell him to  _ stop. _

(A part of Red wondered how the Elemental could be so soft in these moments. A part of Red wanted to grab Grillby around the shoulders and scream at him, because the man  _ knew  _ what Red was. He knew everything Red had done in his short awful life, so how was it that Grillby could still be so kind to him?)

The sound of Grillby clearing his throat caused Red to startle. The skeleton nearly dropped the plate he was drying on the floor, but Grillby caught it with a practiced motion, like he had come to expect such a mistake from Red by now.

“There’s something in the restaurant that needs your attention,” Grillby said.

Red opened his mouth to ask for more information, because what the hell? Half the time Red wasn’t even  _ allowed  _ in the restaurant with the other monsters, but one look at Grillby’s expression and Red snapped his jaws shut.

Because if there was one thing Red absolutely knew how to do, it was how to avoid a beating and Grillby looked like he was about to snap. His flames were sparking, his jaw tight, face so completely expressionless. It was the kind of blank anger that often resulted in Boss breaking a few of Red’s bones. It was the kind of anger Red knew better than to poke. So instead of question Grillby’s order, Red just obeyed.

(That was another thing Red would always know how to do. No matter how hard he tried, Red would never forget how to follow orders like a trained dog.)

The kitchen door swung shut behind him and Red froze, brain stuttering out as he met eyes with the skeleton sitting at the far side of the bar. Papyrus had a bottle of honey before him, sipping it like it was a can of soda, and he looked so goddamn casual that Red wanted to scream at him for being such an idiot. 

Because how could Papyrus not see what he was doing? He was breaking the rules. He was making a spectacle and monsters who drew attention to themselves like this ended up as someone’s trophy piece.

But the tree was just sitting there absolutely oblivious to all of this. He didn’t even seem to notice the way the other patrons of the bar seemed to curve around him, as if there was an invisible force keeping them from coming within a certain proximity to the skeleton.

In that moment, Red hated Papyrus, because  _ babies  _ knew better than to behave like this. This was embarrassing. Worse though, it was going to get someone killed.

Furious, Red stalked towards Papyrus. The skeleton’s eyes lit up the moment he noticed Red, a smile stretching across his features, but before he could even get through a ‘hello’ Red was grabbing him around the wrist and hauling him towards the back room. He pulled Papyrus into the kitchen, past Grillby, and pushed him into the store closet, practically shaking with anger.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Red hissed, rounding on the taller skeleton. “What the absolute holy hell? Are you fucking kidding me? Like, please tell me this is some kind of joke!”

“Woah, Red. Tone it down a little,” Papyrus said, eyes wide. He looked calm, but Red could feel him tense. He could see the way Papyrus’s eyes shifted a little, becoming hyper aware of the room around him. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Red’s eyes flashed. He could feel his magic pulsing through his bones, the sensation a little sickening, and he crossed his arms, trying to reign in his emotions and failing. Red hated how pathetic he felt in that moment. He didn’t like the way his eyes felt sharp, like he was close to tears, and he hated how his mind was going a little numb around the edges, the way it always did when Red was mad enough to wake his magic.

Because Red was an attack dog and he wasn’t supposed to growl at his masters. Boss had beaten that out of him. Boss had taught Red to  _ be better than this.  _ To not even be able to control his own emotions? That was pathetic.

But goddamn, Red couldn’t stop thinking about how  _ nice  _ Sans was. He couldn’t stop thinking about the way the kid’s eyes had gone wide when Red had helped him, like Red was the best thing in the world. And more than any of that, he couldn’t stop thinking about how absolutely unmarred Sans was, and god, if the monsters in Underfell had their way, they’d destroy every speck of that kid’s innocence. Papyrus said he wanted to protect his brother but he wasn’t. he was  _ letting _ them come after Sans and—

Papyrus grabbed Red around the humerus, causing the skeleton’s mind to go blank. “Hey, man, it’s okay. I’m sorry. I can leave, all right? I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“No, I—l,” Red swallowed hard, brain stuttering.

Papyrus’s eyes went wide and he immediately pulled his hand away. “Oh god, I’m so stupid. Sans said you didn’t like to be touched.” Papyrus scrubbed at his face, before grabbing a box of cigarettes out of his pocket. “God, I keep screwing up with you.”

Red glanced down at his shoes and smirked, “yeah, on that subject, there’s actually no smoking in here.”

“You’re kidding, right?”

Red mouthed a silent ‘no’ and watched Papyrus let out a disappointed huff, stuffing his cigarettes and his lighter back in his pocket. He leant heavily against one of the storeroom shelves, slouching forward, and his energy seemed to bleed out of him, a deep exhaustion settling over his being. Red found could relate to the feeling.

“What I’d do to make you mad, anyway?” he asked.

“I told you not to come back here,” Red said, gesturing weakly.

Paps smirked at him. “And I told you there was no way in hell I was gonna be able to convince my brother to keep away.”

“What about Alphys?” Red asked.

Papyrus let out a little laugh. He reached into his pocket and this time, instead of pulling out a cigarette, he pulled out two lollipops. He offered one to Red and the smaller skeleton took it in his hands, the waxiness of the paper feeling soft against his fingertips. There were little fruits printed on the wrapper, vibrant and smiling, and it occurred to Red that he’d never seen trash that look so colorful before.

The candy clacked against Papyrus’s teeth as he rolled it around in his mouth. “Alphys and Sans aren’t talking right now, apparently. I don’t know why, but now I’m guessing she stopped him from passing through the border and pissed him off.”

“I didn’t mean to start anything.”

“You were just trying your best to keep everyone safe, man. There’s nothing wrong with that.” Papyrus shrugged. “Besides, Sans will figure out a way past her and then he’ll forget all about being mad at Alphys then. Really, he isn’t upset with her at all. He’s just mad that she got the better of him. Sans can be a real sore loser when it comes to stuff like that.”

Red smirked. “Noted.”

“But is that really why you were so upset? Because I crossed the border when you said not to?”

“No. That would’ve been one thing, but why the hell did you have to waltz in here?  _ Everybody  _ knows what happens at Grillby’s. Everyone is gonna hear you’re still around and not only that, but now they’re gonna know that you’re walking into places  _ you don’t belong.  _ And Red Monsters are real bitter about shit like that. After you assholes kicked us to the curb, we got real territorial okay? And you just had to throw salt in everyone’s wounds by waltzing into Grillby’s,” Red practically groaned, covering his face with his hands.  How could a grown monster be so,  _ so  _ stupid? “Now people are gonna hear about you and they’re gonna be  _ pissed _ . What were you thinking? You never came here before. What made you think it was okay for you to do so now?”

“I was looking for you. Figured the ball of fire that owns this place would know where you were.”

“And why the hell would you want to come find me?” Red snapped.

Papyrus glanced away sharply. “Fuck if I know.” He sighed and pulled his sucker from his mouth, staring at the ball of candy like it had the answers he was looking for, “I guess I didn’t like how we left things. I mean, you help Sans for no reason and then I just—” Papyrus shook his head. “I don’t know, okay? I just didn’t like it.”

“And you thought coming down here was gonna fix that?” Red rolled his eyes. “God, man, you really are an idiot. This place doesn’t have any answers for you, okay? The only thing you’ll get here is dusted.”

“And what about you?”

“What about me?!”

“Are you gonna get dusted down here too?”

Red stiffened, jaw going tight. A part of him wanted to laugh, because lord, Red’s entire life was leading up to him getting dusted. He’d never really thought about it too much, because why should he? It was just an obvious fact. Did you really need to think about the fact that snow was white? No, you just knew that it  _ was.  _ No assembly required.

“I’ve lasted this long, haven’t I?” Red grinned and he didn’t tell Papyrus how big of a miracle that was. Red had thought he’d die at the hands of Boss long before now, but he hadn’t. He’d survived Boss’s anger and he was all the stronger for it these days.

“And how much longer are you gonna be able to say that?”

“As long as I can make it,” Red snarled. Then let out a breath, forcing himself to calm the fuck down. “Look, Papyrus, I don’t know what you want me to say. Do you want me to lie? Do you want me to tell you that life down here is all fine and dandy? Well, it’s not. In fact its literal hell sometimes, but whatever. It’s life, okay? And I can take care of myself. I always have. And sure, one day my luck is gonna run out and that’s gonna be awful, but who cares? Worrying about it isn’t gonna help me none.”

Papyrus’s expression darkened.

“You want me to lie?” Red asked again.

“No,” Papyrus sighed. Then his eyes met Red’s and there was nothing but a sort of grim determination in them, so much it made Red a little anxious. “You’re a good guy, Red. You don’t deserve this life. And I  _ owe _ you. Not for my life, that’d be nothing, but I owe you for saving  _ Sans’s  _ life, and god, I hate owing people. So I’m not gonna let you rot down here, okay?”

“Yeah, and what are you gonna do about it?”

“Sponsor you.”

_ What. _

A sponsor was the only way a Red Monster could legally leave Underfell. They had to have a Grey Monster take full responsibility for them. It was a great system because what sort of Grey Monster would be stupid enough to do such a thing?

_ Apparently this one _ , Red thought, openly gaping at Papyrus.

“Before you say anything, just hear me out?” Papyrus said, holding up his hands like he expected Red to lunge at him. “I work for the queen, okay? So Sans and I have plenty of money. And I know people too, people who won’t care too much about the fact that you have Red Magic. So I can get you set up with a job and a house in no time and then you won’t have to worry about getting dusted. You can actually  _ live _ .”

And maybe if he hadn’t said that last line, Red would’ve actually considered agreeing. But as it was, Papyrus didn’t let Red think for a moment that life outside of Underfell would be all that great because Papyrus didn’t even think that Red Monsters  _ lived  _ at all. No, Papyrus thought they suffered. He thought they struggled. He didn’t see that sometimes, life in Underfell could be the most beautiful thing on earth. All he could see was the bad.

And if Red took his offer? That’s all anyone would see of Red too. He’d stop being anything other than a  _ Red Monster.  _ He’d lose every bit of himself in the face of their stupidity.

“You self-righteous bastard,” Red practically snarled, the crack in his skull aching as his magic  _ roiled _ . “God, you must feel so good about yourself right now, coming to the awful Red Monster’s aid. Look at you, rising above your petty stereotypes and finding it in your heart to be a decent fucking person. Wow. You must be real fucking proud right now.”

“Red—”

“Don’t ‘ _ Red’  _ me. And don’t look at me like that! Stop looking at me like I don’t know any better!”

“How could you? You’ve lived here your whole life!”

“And who’s fault is that?!” Red cried.

“You think I don’t know that?” Papyrus straightened, going to pace along the back shelves, before turning back to Red. “You think I don’t know how stupid everyone’s been—how stupid  _ I’ve  _ been? I know that and I’m trying to help, okay? I want to help.”

“You wanna help me?” Red asked. “Then keep you and your brother the fuck away from me.”

That seemed to knock the agitation right out of Papyrus. He slumped forward, his entire expression turning dull. “Yeah. Okay.” And then he just  _ left _ .

And wow. Wasn’t that just  _ new _ . When was the last time someone had actually left when Red asked them to?

* * *

 

Papyrus headed straight for the door, ready to get the fuck away from this place and its insanity. Because why the hell would Red say no? It wasn’t like Papyrus didn’t owe the guy. He’d saved  _ Sans.  _ There was no way Papyrus could ever hope to repay that debt, especially after he’d been such an ass to the guy when all Red had done was try and help Papyrus’s baby brother. Papyrus had thought sponsoring the kid would be a start.

But the idiot had said no and Papyrus didn’t understand. Because who wouldn’t take the first opportunity to ditch this hellhole? Who would choose to stay  _ here.  _ Red didn’t even have a house! He was sleeping in a fucking closet and still,  _ still,  _ he had turned Papyrus down.

It shouldn’t make Papyrus this upset. He should be relieved he didn’t have to take responsibility for Red, but he wasn’t. He couldn’t get himself to shrug this off and  _ it was driving him crazy.  _

“You’re an idiot.” Papyrus froze. He turned to see the fire elemental, Grillby, watching him. The monster was polishing a glass, slowly running a rag over the surface. He didn’t turn his gaze from Papyrus, he just repeated, in that odd crackling voice of his, “an absolute fucking idiot.”

“What the hell, man?” Papyrus said.

“You heard me. You’ve been coming here for how many years now? And still you and your brother know nothing about this place. How dense do you have to be to not learn a single thing in that time?” Grillby made a little tsking noise, shaking his head in dismay as he did so. “All you Greys are so arrogant. You think you’re so above us.”

Papyrus glared at the man. He was a little tired of being accused of being stupid. “You’re wrong.”

“Am I?” Grillby cocked a brow. “Tell me then, what do you know about us? Anything will do.”

Papyrus opened his mouth, but found no answer came to mind. Annoyed, he turned his gaze to the ground. “What is there to know? It’s not like you have anything to teach me.”

“Because we’re so backwards?”

“Because you’re  _ murderers _ .”

That made Grillby pause. The elemental set his glass on the counter behind him and met Papyrus’s eyes. “You really think every single monster down here is a murderer? There are  _ thousands  _ of us. You really think we’ve all killed before? And even if that was true, do you honestly believe that all there is to our lives? Killing?”

Grillby paused, glancing over his shoulder to the closed door of the storeroom. “When Red monsters were first locked away here, we weren’t given enough resources to sustain our population. We still aren’t. And yes, fighting erupted because of that. Eventually violence became a fact of life. But you honestly think we fight because we  _ want  _ to? Are you really so closed minded as to think that  _ that’s _ why we kill?”

“You’re still murderers,” Papyrus retorted. “It doesn’t matter why.”

“And you’re not welcome back here,” Grillby said and pointed towards the back door. “So get out.”

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not gonna lie, i love in this chapter that paps basically uses the "cool motive, still murder" meme.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grillby refuses to let Red go back to boss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick reminder: Underfell Papyrus's name is Fell. Red just calls him Boss. 
> 
> Also I suck at writing fight scenes. But I tried? *shrugs*

* * *

 

Sometimes something in Red just _shut down._ He tried not to think too much about it when it happened. It was just an odd quirk of his brain. Another thing to add to Red’s long list of defects. Sometimes Red’s mind just couldn’t handle things and like an overtaxed computer, it gave up. Crashed. Rebooted.

And after Papyrus left? Red crashed _hard._ His mind froze and he spent a good few hours staring at the door of the storeroom, trying to remember the last time someone had left him alone when he’d asked.

And then Red got up. And then Red took care of business.

 

Because even if Papyrus was an asshole, that didn’t mean he and his brother deserved to die here. Because if the two of them were going to waltz down here like they owned the place, then they needed some insurance. Because Red was strong and scary as hell when he wanted to be and he was the only monster down here that cared enough to give them that insurance.

 

Because, when you really got down to it, the Bradshaw boys were just so easy to find.

 

Red stepped out into the alley. It was dark, the red of his eye casting odd shadows across his face. He saw the monsters in front of him stiffen. There were six loitering about—the entirety of the Bradshaw gang. The tabby monster blinked at him, a look of confusion on his face.

“Red?” He asked. “What the hell are you doing out here, runt? Shouldn’t you be running errands or something?”

Red grinned and summoned a row of bones. “I’m on break,” he said and attacked.  

 

Because the truth was, Red knew his fate was sealed. Boss would find him eventually—it was only a matter of time—and at least this way Red would go for a good cause. At least this way, something good might come out of the skeleton’s pathetic excuse for a life.

He could do this for Sans. For Papyrus.  

He could do this for himself even, because if Red was being entirely honest with himself, he was ready to end this façade. Freedom was hard. Caring was hard. He wanted to go home and at least this way he could pretend he wasn’t giving up.

Which he was. He didn’t want to admit it, but he _was_ because Red always gave up eventually.

 

Two seconds in and Red knew the battle wasn’t going to be hard.

Fighting came easy for Red after all. He didn’t want to hurt anyone, he never had, but he couldn’t deny the fact that he was damn good at it. He sent bones flying towards the center of the group. They scattered, but the Snowdrake was too slow. The bones missed his center, but skewered his wing. One flick of the wrist, one summoned blaster, and the Snowdrake was gone in a stream of light.

Red turned the blaster on the others. He caught two before they could dodge, a third stumbling into a well-placed stream of bones and crumbling, but Bradshaw and the bird-monster managed to duck beneath the torrent of magic. The blast singed the fur on the tabby’s back and he let out a hiss before lunging for Red.

He was so slow. Years spent sparring with Boss had acclimated Red to a certain level of speed—namely the ‘blink and you’ll miss it’ kind of fast—and fighting Bradshaw felt like fighting a snail. Red ducked and Bradshaw’s claws went wide, accidentally slashing the bird monster behind them.

Her eyes went wide as her already dwindling HP hit zero and she fell to dust.

Red actually _laughed_ at that. Bradshaw’s face contorted in fury and he lunged once more, claws just barely scraping Red’s cheek before the skeleton caught him around the wrist, throwing him to the ground. He summoned a bone and pressed it to Bradshaw’s throat, the sharpened edge vicious looking.

“What the fuck man?” Bradshaw gasped. “What the hell even are you?”  

“Doesn’t matter what,” Red said. He pressed his knee into the tabby’s chest and the monster let out a painful huff of air. “What matters is this: if you or any other monster in this shit show of a city even _thinks_ about touching the skeleton brothers, I will fucking dust you. Hear?”

Bradshaw swallowed hard, but nodded.

“Good.” And Red let him up.

The tabby monster scrambled to his hands and knees, panting, and stared wide eyed at the destruction around him. The piles of dust were beginning to spread, coating the dumpsters around them, and the smell of death filled the air. Red kind of wanted to be sick. He kind of just wanted to go back to Grillby’s and sleep for a decade.

Because Boss used to say Red _needed_ him. Not because Red was weak, not because Red was soft, but because Red was _dangerous._ He needed to be controlled, because left alone, he turned into Ragnarök. Left alone, Red would swallow the entire underground whole. And in that moment, Red couldn’t help but agree with his brother.

There was dust _everywhere._  

 _Oh god._ The skeleton took a step back, eyes going wide, pupils fading back to their normal pink. His foot collided with something slick and he fell, landing in a pile of dust. _God, there was so much of it._ And his brain was sputtering out. Red could practically hear the dial-up noises as it crashed. Too many tabs open. Too many programs. Too much. Gone.

He was only half aware of Bradshaw launching himself across the alley. The tabby landed on top of Red, his claws hooking in the fabric of the skeleton’s turtleneck. His eyes were wild, huge and angry and _hurt._ Red was distinctly aware of the fact that he had put that expression on the cat’s face.

And for a split second, his fucked-up brain actually _wanted_ to let Bradshaw gut him.  Then Red kicked up with his knees, Bradshaw going flying, his craws tearing the top of the skeleton’s turtleneck. Red scrambled to his feet, ready for another attack, but it never came.

Instead, Bradshaw was looking up at him horrified.

Except he wasn’t _exactly_ looking at Red. He was looking at the skeleton’s neck, at the shinning leather band that rested against the skeleton’s sternum. Gold spikes turned the collar into a wicked thing—turned it into something _iconic._ Red hated the collar, but no matter how hard he had tried since running away, he couldn’t get it off. The thing was magicked on, stuck there until Boss decided to remove it.

“Oh god, you’re Fell’s attack dog,” Bradshaw said then cringed back. “Fuck. I’m sorry, sir. I didn’t know. I didn’t recognize you without your boss. I—please don’t tell Fell. I swear I won’t touch the grey monsters again. Just don’t tell your boss.”

Red wrapped a hand around the tag on his collar, eyes far off, but nodded. “Yeah. Just get the fuck out of here, okay?”

“Yes sir,” Bradshaw nodded and practically sprinted away, probably counting himself lucky that he’d escaped the wrath of Fell’s most trusted weapon.

Red slumped forward. The cuffs of his jacket were covered in dust, the chalky white substance making his hands look like a monochrome painting.

 _This is so fucked up,_ Red realized. He rubbed at his eyes, resignation settling into his bones. Because yes, this was fucked up, but this was also his _life._ And if there was one thing Red was good at, it was accepting his fate.

 

* * *

 

A week later, Red awoke to someone shaking him. He startled, before focusing on Grillby, forcing himself into a calm he didn’t feel. He raised a questioning brow at Grillby and the fire elemental simply tossed a duffle bag Red’s way, hitting the skeleton in the chest.

“Pack your shit,” Grillby said.

Red blinked at him. “What?”

“Did I stutter?” Grillby snapped. He pointed to the area Red occupied in the storeroom. “Pack your shit. Now.”

At that, Red looked from the elemental, to the bag in his hands. His brain churned, unable to come up with a reason for the elemental’s sudden change in demeanor. So he was finally kicking Red out? It was disappointing, but inevitable. Everyone got sick of Red eventually, after all.

Now, Grillby wasn’t even looking at him. The elemental was stiff, his entire body rigid, and he had a determined glint in his eyes that set Red on edge.

“What’s this about, Grillbz?”

“What’s this about? What’s _anything_ about when it comes to you? Your fucking _brother_ , who, by the way, is _on his way here_ ,” Grillby let out a breath before meeting eyes with Red. “I told you to leave the Bradshaw boys the fuck alone, but you didn’t listen, did you? Because you got fucking _attached._ ”

“Sans and Papyrus didn’t deserve to get killed down here,” Red said.

“ _And what about_ _you?”_ Grillby practically snarled. “Huh, Red? What do you deserve? You really think you deserve to be your brother’s _dog?_ Do you really think you deserve to go back to that life?” The elementals eyes burned, flames crackling. “Fuck you. You’re so rude, you get that? You go about making people care about you then you throw yourself in the trash like no one will care. Fuck you for that.”

Red blinked. “I’m sorry, Grillbz. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“No. You’re not sorry. You’re not even close to sorry.” Grillby huffed. He ran his hands across the top of his head and let out a breath. “Just—get packed. I’m taking you to the border.”

“What?”

“You’re taking that awful Papyrus’s damn offer. I’m getting you away from here if it’s the last thing I do.”

Red’s entire body went stiff, a cold sort of dread filling his bones when he realized Grillby was absolutely dead serious. And wasn’t _that_ funny? The thought of going back to his brother didn’t even make Red flinch, but the idea of going with Papyrus? Holy fuck, the thought made Red sick to his stomach.

“No. Grillby. I can’t,” Red shook his head. “I can’t.”

“No. You just don’t want to.” Grillby glared at him. “Look, I know some fucked up part of your mind still misses your little brother, but I don’t give a shit about that. I can’t protect you here. I told you that. But thank god that’s not the only option anymore.”

“You’re right! I can just go back home! You don’t have to fight Boss. I can just go with him. I can just go home.”

“That place is _not_ your home,” Grillby snapped. “Red, look at your fucking neck. Your brother _collared_ you. I am not letting you go back to him. And I would’ve loved to have you crash here for the rest of your miserable life, but thanks to your idiocy, that’s no longer an option. So pack your shit. We’re leaving.”

Red swallowed hard.

Because Grillby was right. He _did_ miss Boss. Terribly. Because even after all the shit Boss had done to him, even after the pain Red had endured by his hands, Fell was still Red’s baby brother. Red had promised to be there for him and a part of him was a little guilty for having stayed away so long.

It wasn’t like Boss really _needed_ him, but Red could still remember the days when the two were baby bones together, back when Gaster would get so fed up with Red he’d lock him out of the house and Fell would just sit at the door and wail for Red to come back, eyes huge black saucers in the white of his skull.

And sometimes even now, Red would wake up in the darkness of Grillby’s storeroom, jaw aching from where he’d done nothing but clench it in his sleep, and he would be overcome with a sudden, unbearable wave of homesickness. He’d want nothing more than to drag his sorry ass to the pay phone in the bar and call Boss to come take him home.

So sure, if he went to the border with Grillby, he’d likely be safe from Boss forever, but did Red really want that? Did he want to give up, not just his home, but all of Underfell for the sake of abandoning _his little brother_?

No. Red wouldn’t do that. He simply couldn’t. He knew what life with Boss was like. He knew he could survive it. But he didn’t know if he could survive leaving Underfell. Fuck, he didn’t know if _Sans and Papyrus_ could survive his leaving Underfell.

Red needed Boss after all. Without him, he was little more than Armageddon incarnate.

Red shifted to his feet, leveling a hard stare at Grillby. “No. I’m staying here.”

And that should have been the end of everything, except Grillby didn’t back down. He just gave Red this stare, like Red was the most pitiful creature he had ever seen, and said, “I’m sorry, Red. But I really wasn’t asking.”

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All i could think about when i was writing the end part was this [video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FfJ6zZ1oCNo)
> 
> (mostly because of the "get your shit and leave" part of the song)
> 
> Also come bug me on tumblr if you want! [mifrunner.tumblr.com](https://mifrunner.tumblr.com)


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans isn't good with healing magic. Papyrus doesn't take no for an answer. Red gets blood everywhere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lord you guys, i'm so tired. School is _hard _. Why am i telling y'all this? because fair warning, the next two weeks are gonna be filled with me stressing out over finals so i might not keep up with my normal Tues/Sat update schedule.__
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> __  
> _Also sorry for saying this chapter was gonna get uploaded _before _tuesday. Idk who i was kidding lol, but i did try?___  
>     
>  __  
>  _Also _also _HOLY GUACAMOLE this thing has almost 1700 hits?? Idk how that happened, but thank y'all for coming and enjoying my story! I'm glad you're liking it !___  
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>  _Oh, and come yell at me on tumblr if you want:[mifrunner.tumblr.com](https://mifrunner.tumblr.com)_   
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* * *

 

Sans had never liked being told what to do. It was a stubbornness born from years of being underestimated, from years of being told that a 1 HP monster was too fragile to do anything worthwhile. Because Sans wasn’t _fragile_. He never had been. He just had to work harder than some monsters.

So when Alphys barred him from crossing the border, that stung. She had always rooted for him. She had been the one to train him for the guard when no one else would. She had been the one who believed in him and she was the one who stopped him from crossing _because_ _he was too frail_.

After that, getting into Underfell was more a matter of pride for Sans than anything else. He needed to prove to himself that he could. He always needed to prove to himself that he could do these sorts of things. Without Alphys or Papyrus or Muffet. Sans could do these things on his own.

The moment he made it across the border though, Sans was assaulted by the heavy scent of blood. And it wasn’t the normal copper smell that permeated the air in Underfell, it was a full on _reek,_ like a butcher shop after Ramadan. Sans felt a chill run up his spine. Suddenly he wasn’t so sure of sneaking into Underfell alone. Suddenly he wished he had asked Papy to come along after all.

Except no. Sans was a _royal guard._ He was perfectly capable of handling things on his own. Everyone would be afraid in his situation, but Sans had never let fear stop him before, especially when someone might be in trouble. He followed the scent and soon began to recognize the terrain around him. Sans’s steps quickened. His throat felt a little dry.

Sans  _knew_ this place. Red had taken him here once before, teleported them to this very crater, to one of the few spots near the border where a monster could go unnoticed by the guard. Sans stopped at the edge and his eyes went wide with horror.

Because it was no wonder that the place reeked of blood.

Red was lying in the bottom of the crater, the entire left side of his skull caked in marrow. The crack had always been awful, but now it was even wider, arcing all the way down to Red’s eye. Worse than that though, was the break in Red’s leg. The tibia was practically severed. If it weren’t for the streams of magic desperately pulling the bone into place, Sans was certain it would be gone altogether.

Sans slid down the rim of the crater, falling to his knees beside Red. He pulled the skeleton into his lap, pushing energy to his fingertips. And Sans would never forget that moment, right before he touched Red with his healing magic, that moment where his body almost _recoiled_ at the thought of reaching out towards a Red Core. Sans would _never_ forgive himself for that hesitance.

Then he was running his hand down the crack in Red’s skull, recoiling at the feeling of the marrow sticking to his fingers, pushing as much of his magic into the tiny skeleton as he could because _Red wasn’t moving._ Sans was touching him all over and he wasn’t moving and shit, when Sans pulled Red’s soul out of his chest he was horrified to see that the tiny pulsing heart only had _1 HP._ And how had Red survived life in Underfell like that? And oh god, what did this mean now, with his body so broken, that even though Sans was pouring as much magic into Red as he could, the little monster _still wasn’t waking up?_

Suddenly Red’s eye lights fluttered to life. Sans let out a breath of relief, tears pricking his eyes as he watched Red struggle to focus his vision. The skeleton blinked, brow furrowed, eyes meeting Sans’s, before he shot up. Red immediately let out a pained cry, clutching at his broken leg, breath coming in huge ragged gasps.

Sans pressed close to the little monster, watching Red sway unsteadily, on the verge of falling unconscious once more. Then Red made this low keening noise, like an animal caught in a steel trap. He glared at his leg like it had personally betrayed him, like the pain of it didn’t matter as much as its loss of functionality did.

“Red?” Sans scooted forward.

Red whipped around, then let out a string of curses when the movement aggravated his injuries. “Don’t—” he held out his hand. “Just stay there for a second, would you sweetheart? I just—I gotta—” he made a choked off little noise, like the next word was caught in the back of his throat, and crumpled. “God damn it.”

At that, Sans reached out and gave Red’s arm a little pat. The monster let out a wet laugh, wiping at his face, and looked Sans in the eyes, a sappy smile on his face. Sans was beginning to worry that the guy was concussed. 

“You’re okay,” Red muttered, words slurring together, then again, to himself. “You’re okay, kid.”

“I gotta call Papy, Red. You’re really hurt,” Sans told him.

Red hesitated. For a moment it looked like he wasn’t going to respond, then he just gave Sans this jerky nod, like it was physically painful for him to agree with that statement.

“What—” Sans swallowed hard, wanting to reach out and comfort Red, but knowing the action wouldn’t be appreciated in the least. “What happened to you, anyway?”

Red shook his head and breathed, “Nothin’, Sweetheart. Nothing much at all.”

* * *

There was no denying the fact that Papyrus was lazy, but when he was really needed, when something was _actually important,_ he turned into a force of nature. When Sans needed him, all he had to do was say the word, and Papyrus was there, ready to tear apart the world to make sure Sans was happy.

That’s why Sans called Papyrus before he did anything else. With Red swaying in and out of consciousness, he knew he should have called Alphys. He should have called the border medics. He knew he should have called anyone else, but Sans didn’t know if he could convince them to take Red in if he did. It was no secret that the border guard operated on a policy on non-interference. Even Alphys would take some convincing before she bothered to help Red.

(And why had that never really bothered Sans before? Up till now, it was just a fact of life. It wasn’t something Sans could change, so he tried not to think too much about it. But then, didn’t that make him just as bad? To knowingly ignore the guard’s crimes like he had? Sans shook away the thought; it’s not like his guilt could help Red now.)

But Papyrus wasn’t the type to back down. Not when it came to Sans.

And when he got there, he didn’t even question anything. Papyrus didn’t even take a moment to chastise Sans for coming into Underfell alone. He just took one look at Red’s battered form and his eyes went absolutely _dark._ Then Papyrus pulled out his phone and immediately began to yell at Alphys to get her ass into shape, _because he wasn’t taking no for an answer._

And all the while Sans just hovered near Red, pouring healing magic into the little skeleton every time his HP began to sputter. Time seemed to turn in on itself, happening too fast and too slow all at once. Nothing seemed real except for the blood on Sans’s bones.

Sans tore his attention away from Papyrus’s increasingly heated argument with Alphys and back to Red. The monster had stopped moving. He was now slumped in Sans’s lap, his head turned towards the right to keep pressure off the crack in his skull. His HP wasn’t stabilizing anymore either.

Panic gripped Sans’s soul and he flashed Papyrus a wild look, “Pap! He’s not—he’s—”

Words weren’t really all that necessary it turned out. Papyrus was beside Sans in an instant, pushing his brother’s hands out of the way. His eyes went wide the moment he checked Red’s soul and he immediately began to channel his magic into the monster’s core, watching the number rise with an unsettling amount of intensity.

And, for a long moment, Sans just wanted to cry because Papyrus had acted without a moment’s hesitation. And Papyrus _hated_ Red Monsters, but he hadn’t paused like Sans had. He’d just _moved._ And wasn’t that just awful? That Papyrus thought Sans the kind one, when Sans couldn’t even heal a Red Monster without worrying about their magic tainting his core?

Papyrus let out a breath the moment Red’s HP hit .5 and stayed there. “Holy shit,” he breathed, voice hoarse, eyes still glowing a bright orange from the use of his healing magic. “Kid sure knows how to keep you on your toes, huh?”

Sans flashed his brother a withering look and Papyrus just grinned. It was a weary smile though, like he was trying to lighten a horrible situation and _knew_ he was failing horribly.

“Pap, he only has one HP,” Sans muttered, clutching at the front of his shirt, where his own fragile core rested.

“I know.”

“We can’t let him come back here,” Sans said then. “He can’t _live_ here. Not like that.”

Papyrus flashed Sans a knowing look, then glanced away sharply, pulling his hands from Red and stuffing them in his hoodie pocket. “You’re right. But we can’t just force him to do something he doesn’t want to.”

“Well then, we just have to convince him!” Sans decided then. He stared down at Red, “It’s not like he can go home with a broken leg. So we’ll just have to show him that living in Snowdin is nice! That way when he gets all healed up, he won't even _want_ to leave!”

“That’s a lot of faith you’re putting in our nurturing abilities there, Sans.”

“Who said anything about _your_ abilities? You can’t even remember to water the plants!” Sans chastised. “I only know that one bite of my tacos will have him begging to move in with us! It’s the only natural response to such delicious food.” Sans looked at Red’s blood caked skull and sobered some. “Besides, we have to at least _try.”_  

* * *

 


	9. [Intermission]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grillby was never good at not caring... 
> 
> [takes place between chapters seven and eight]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wha! An update?! Your eyes are not deceiving you! in fact, updates have finally started back up again! thank you all so much for being patient with me the last few weeks. I managed to pass all my finals and survive christmas and now i am more than ready to tackle the rest of I've Fallen. It's honestly so nice to get back to writing fan fiction now. 
> 
> IDK if you guys know this, but my AO3 profile (and [tumblr](https://unicornpunk-mifrunner.tumblr.com/miffic%20schedule)) both have a list of all my upcoming fics along with current fics and the month they will (hopefully) be completed and this fic is set to be done by the end of january (but will probs end closer to the end of february). 
> 
> So its gonna be consistent updates now in order to keep up with that completion goal! Theres at least ten to fifteen chapters left in this fic, so get ready for that!
> 
> Also, thank you for your support! Thank you to everyone who's read so far and thank you thank you thank you for all the comments! Y'all give me and this fic _life _.__
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> And as always, if you want constant updates on how fics are coming along and stuff, you can always follow me on tumblr at[unicornpunk-mifrunner.tumblr.com](https://unicornpunk-mifrunner.tumblr.com) or on twitter at [Mif_Runner](https://twitter.com/MiF_Runner))  
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> _and without further ado, let's have the intermission!_  
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* * *

 

Grillby had been alive for a very long time. These days, his flames never stopped crackling with unease and sometimes, at night, Grillby would lie down on his bed and wonder why he didn’t just give up completely. When elementals fell down, though, they didn’t do so without collateral. They lost their minds; their forms. They became nothing more than the element they were comprised of and, most nights, Grillby was ready to become an inferno. He wanted to swallow the entire underground in a cleansing breath of fire. He wanted everything to just _burn_.

But then he met Red.

 

* * *

 

 

Grillby was a lot of things, but he had never been stupid. He didn’t become a sector leader out of luck, after all. Grillby knew more about what happened in Underfell than the Queen herself and the moment Red walked into his bar, he had known that the little skeleton was none other than Fell’s runaway weapon. He'd been ready to call Fell up just to earn a few brownie points from one of Underfell's strongest leaders. 

Then Red had laughed, his smile wide, his expression a little bitter, and Grillby had realized that before Red was anyone’s weapon, before he was Fell's dog, he was just a _kid_. So, instead of turn Red into his brother, Grillby treated him like any other monster in his bar and he simply took Red’s order.

Grillby was a Master of non-interference. He would ignore Red and leave it to someone else to turn him in... or that had been the plan anyway. Too bad the little skeleton was too damn likable for Grillby to ignore him for long.

And for the first time in centuries, Grillby had a friend. Red was bubbly and salty as hell and he had this air about him, like he would do anything just to make sure you were okay. It was an odd feeling for Grillby. He was used to feeling stronger, used to feeling more powerful than those around him, but Red made him feel like just another monster.

Red made him feel like an equal.

Then Red had come in with a bruised eye, the discoloration stark against the grey of his bones. He had a new scratch across his cheek, new fractures in the fine structure of his hand, and for the first time in a long time, Grillby wanted to do something.

For the first time in a long time, Grillby let himself act.

* * *

 

“I’m sorry, Red. But I really wasn’t asking.”

Red’s eyes went wide for a moment, his expression going blank, the way it always did when he didn’t know how to react to a situation. After months of living with the skeleton, Grillby knew all his ticks. He knew more about the little skeleton than Red ever wanted him to and the fear in Red’s eyes every time Grillby woke him from a nightmare was enough to tell Grillby Red could never go back home.

Not while Grillby was still breathing anyway.

Red finally sputtered back to life, his eye lights flaring a deep red. “You really wanna do this?” he breathed, the words barely audible. “You really wanna end up treating me just like he did?”

Grillby flinched, but the statement only deepened his resolve. Because Red was right, in a way. This was exactly what Fell did. He took away Red’s ability to choose, but more than that, he took away Red’s _life_.

If Grillby did this, he’d become the very thing he was trying to protect Red from. He’d become something _awful_. A small part of Grillby was sickened by the thought of being anything like Red’s brother, but a much larger part had already accepted this as a necessary evil.

The elemental stepped forward, determination making his core flare. 

 

* * *

 

Before Red had come into his life, Grillby had never had anything to fight for. The elemental had grown old, far older than a red monster had any right to be, and the world was no longer worth his time. it had stopped being anything but grey and Grillby kept living out of habit more than anything else. 

And now? Now, Grillby’s storeroom was in ruins, bones piercing the boxes and shelves. The bottles of alcohol were shattered, the entire room smelling strongly of the stuff, and Grillby was panting from exertion. 

He knew if Red had wanted to win this fight, he would have, but Red had never wanted to hurt anyone. Despite what his brother told him, despite everything he had been forced to do, the sins he had been forced to commit, Red only wanted to help people. Grillby only wanted for him to be okay.

He looked down at the skeleton in his arms. It had really only taken a swift blow to the head to render the kid unconscious. Now the crack in Red's skull was leaking marrow, turning the left side of the skeleton's face into a gory mess.

Grillby ran his hand over the wound, smearing blood across Red’s face, and felt his heart pinch. This was for the best. This would be in everyone’s best interest, in the end, and maybe one day, Red would learn to forgive him. Maybe Red would even be thankful, after he adjusted to life outside of this hellhole.

But really, what did any of that matter? So long as Red escaped, Grillby would be happy.

 

* * *

 

Fuku met the elemental in the alley beside the bar. She was one of Grillby's most trusted informants, a monster the elemental found himself turning to time after time. Grillby knew he could trust her with anything, even this.

 Grillby handed her Red’s backpack, then passed the skeleton into her care. She gave Red a once over, thoroughly unimpressed.

“This is really him?” Fuku shook her head, touching the crack in Red’s skull. “Man, you’d think a monster with his LV would be a little bigger or something.”

Grillby nodded. He glanced over his shoulder, back at the closed door of the bar, before meeting Fuku’s eyes. “You’ll get him to the border?”

Fuku nodded. “Yeah.” She shifted, a little uncomfortable. "That shouldn't be any trouble at all. It's keeping him there that I'm worried about. You have to know that he’s just gonna come right back,” Fuku said then. “A guy like him isn’t the type to just stay down.”

Grillby clenched his jaw, the pain in his chest returning, before meeting Fuku’s eyes. He’d been afraid she’d say as much. Steeling his nerves, Grillby said, “When someone is close enough to find him then, break his leg.”

Fuku swallowed hard, but nodded. “Yeah. Okay,” she shifted Red’s weight in her arms. “That’ll probably do the trick.” She turned to leave, then stopped, glancing over her shoulder to meet Grillby’s eyes, “You take care of yourself, okay, old man?”

Grillby shifted, “Just make sure he makes it to the border.”

 

Once Fuku was gone, Grillby cleaned the storeroom as best he could. He stopped at the space that used to belong to Red and sucked in a few deep breaths. He had no doubt that the little skeleton would hate him now, but Grillby couldn’t let himself care about that. This was hard, but this was never going to be easy now, was it? Grillby had never been good at goodbyes. All his years and he still hadn't found a way to survive them. 

 

* * *

 

By the time Fell and his lackeys entered his bar, Grillby was leaning against the bar, polishing a glass. Red used to make fun of him when he did this, but right now, Grillby couldn't think about that. Right now, he just needed something to hide the fact that his hands wouldn't stop trembling.

Fell glanced around, ordering his lackeys to fan out. 

Grillby had never met Fell before. He’d heard rumors, even seen pictures of the monster, but nothing could prepare him for meeting the skeleton in person. Fell was huge, easily three times Red’s size, and his armor made him seem otherworldly. His canines were filed to sharp points and his eyes were dark pits, completely devoid of expression. 

The elemental sucked in a breath, thinking of Red. He could do this. For once in his life, he would let himself  _care._

This was the monster that had put a crack in Red’s skull and fear in the little skeleton’s eyes. This was the monster who had beaten Red so relentlessly that he still flinched every time Grillby spoke too loudly. Fell had done that and in that moment, Grillby _hated_ him.

“Anything I can do for you?” Grillby asked, setting his glass aside.

Fell narrowed his eyes. His face was all menace. Grillby didn’t understand how someone as kind as Red could be related to such a thing.

“I’m looking for something of mine,” Fell said, voice cold. He stalked towards the bar in three quick steps, laying his claws against the table. “I have reason to believe that that something is here.”

And Grillby knew he should be thinking of his next move, he knew he should be worried about the fact that Fell’s LV was twice his own, but all he could think about were the scars on Red’s cheek. All he could think about was the fact that these very hands had been the ones to bloody Red’s face.

“Oh?” Grillby said. “Well, maybe you should learn to keep better track of your things.”

Fell clenched his fist.

“Where is he?” the skeleton said very levelly and somehow, this managed to make the words seem even more menacing than if he had screamed them. Grillby was supposed to have the upper hand here. Grillby was supposed to be prepared, but he suddenly felt like Fell had planned all of this. Beneath Fell’s gaze, Grillby felt very small.

“Your dog?” Grillby sneered. “Trust me, Fell, the moment I learned he belong to you of all monsters, I had him dusted.”

Fell’s body went rigid. Then he looked Grillby up and down and actually fucking _grinned_. “You really expect me to believe you had the ability to dust my brother?” Fell snorted, before leaning forward, so close Grillby could smell his breath. He then wrapped one hand around Grillby’s throat, the motion lighting quick, and _squeezed_. “Let me tell you something, elemental. You don’t want to know what my brother is capable of doing when he’s without supervision. Red is not a monster. Red is barely an animal. He is a weapon and he belongs to me. There's no way in hell a pathetic monster like yourself could ever _hope_ to dust him. So let me ask you one more time,” Fell’s claws dug into Grillby’s throat, _“where is he_?”

And maybe if Fell had come here a few months ago, Grillby would have sold Red out. Maybe then, Grillby would’ve cared more about escaping this devil than he cared about Red’s happiness, but as things were, Grillby was done selling out his loved ones. Grillby was done pretending to be cruel.

The elemental acted fast, slamming his fist into Fell’s face. The skeleton let out a string of curses, and by the time Grillby was running through the door to the kitchen, Fell was already shouting orders to his lackeys.

Two dog monsters came storming in the side door, blocking off the other exit, but that was fine. Grillby hadn’t been expecting to escape this. Instead he turned the corner to the storeroom and stopped in the space that Red used to call home.

The door opened a second later and Fell froze, expression furious. 

Because, when elementals fell down, they became nothing more than the element they were comprised of and, in that moment, Grillby was ready to become an inferno.

Lucky for him, his store room just so happened to be filled with the perfect catalyst: alcohol.

Grillby clutched a bottle of vodka in his hand, and looked Fell in the eyes to ensure that the skeleton remembered his killer's face. “You will _never_ hurt him again,” Grillby said, determination making his words ring true.

Fell lunged for him, but it was too late. Already Grillby was letting his flames spread, already Grillby felt the inferno consuming him.

 

And in that moment, Grillby knew Hellfire.

* * *

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Red recovers in the hospital. Papyrus attempts to wrap his head around the wrong thats been done to this kid. Sans continues being a precious little blueberry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anyone know how to keep a cat off your keyboard while you're trying to write? My jabba the hut cat is driving me crazy with how needy she is.... 
> 
> Also look at me! updating on time and stuff! 
> 
> Thanks to everyone who commented on the last chapter! my internets real crappy at my house, so i haven't been able to respond like i normally do, but i just want to say thank you so so much! i love hearing what you guys think. Whenever i get writers block or start to worry about my stuff not being good enough, i just think about your lovely words and it gives me the determination to power through! This fic wouldn't be here without you guys and just thank you so much for reading and double thanks for commenting! 
> 
> now ima go take a nap. hope you enjoy the new chapter!

* * *

 

Awareness came back to him in snatches.

Red was awake when the medical team came, when Papyrus had to practically fight them to get them to load Red onto a gurney. He was aware of Sans crying and he remembered saying something, probably trying to promise the little blueberry he’d be all right, which was odd; Red had never liked making promises before that moment. 

 

 

The second time he came to, he was in a hospital bed. That alone was enough to confuse him. Red could count on one hand the number of times he’d been allowed proper medical care. Red groaned and made to sit up, only to be stopped by the padded cuffs which kept his hands tethered to the railing of the bed.

Which, _fuck_. he didn't like that. Not one bit. If there was one thing Red had never gotten the hang of, it was being trapped. He'd never been good at being tethered, never quite been able to face that level of helplessness without panicking. Red’s breathing picked up, his vision going a little blurry around the edges.

"Red? Are you awake?"

A figure approached his bedside, hands going to his upper arm, and Red snarled at it, eyes flaring.

“Woah, Red. Calm down, man,” the figure said. “You’re working yourself up into a fit.”

Red blinked, forcing his mind to reboot, reanalyze. Papyrus came into focus, the skeleton’s face a little harrowed. He had dark circles under his eyes and looked like he needed a long shower. Why was he here? Why wasn't Red waking up alone, face down in a ditch somewhere? Why had Grillby forced him on the only people in the underground stupid enough to care about a piece of shit like Red?

Papyrus smiled, relaxing some. “There you go, kid.  You’re a little more awake now, aren’t you?”

Red snorted. He tried to sit up again and failed, stopped by the cuffs. The motion made Papyrus scowl. 

“Sorry. Hospital policy when it comes to Red Monsters,” Papyrus said then, nodding to the cuffs and even though his tone of voice was perfectly neutral, Red could tell by the way his expression hardened that he wasn’t happy about this particular policy. "Something about staff safety and all that bullshit."

Red just shrugged, settling back against the pillows, forcing his expression into a calm he didn't feel. “It’s fine. Not like I’m unused to being treated like an animal.”

 "Right," Papyrus said. Then his eyes went to Red's neck and for the first time since waking up, Red realized he wasn't wearing his turtleneck. His collar was there, exposed, metal spikes shinning like jewels. 

 Fuck.

But the staff wasn't running scared. They weren't insisting on putting Red down like the animal he was. He wasn't in a cell or muzzled or anything and that was a jarring conclusion to reach. That meant they had no idea what he was. For the first time in Red's life, his collar didn't incite fear, instead it brought pity, and that was almost worse now, wasn't it? 

Red shut his eyes and willed himself away from this moment. He didn't want to see the way Papyrus's eyes had softened, like Red was an abused kitten. Like Red's entire life amounted to the pain he had suffered. 

Because why should Papyrus think any differently, after all? He didn't think life in Underfell was life at all. Why should he look at Red with anything besides that awful pity? 

 

 

The third time he woke, it was to the sound of someone singing. The voice was soft and lilting and when Red finally peeled open his eyes, he saw Sans there, sitting on the foot of the bed, doodling on a sheet of paper while he sang.

 Red was too short for the bed, leaving half of it unoccupied, but Sans was still careful to leave him plenty of space. It was like the skeleton never forgot for an instant that Red didn’t like to be touched. Like he never forgot that Red was on a hair trigger a hundred percent of the time.  

Sans looked up, meeting Red’s eyes, and his entire expression lit up. It made Red’s head hurt a little less just looking at him. Which, now that he thought about it, with the injuries Red had shouldn't he be hurting a lot more than this? Unless these people had actually given him pain killers?

Red glanced at his lower arm and sure enough, an IV line punctured the bone there. No wonder he was sleeping so much then; they were _drugging_ him.

 Before Red could get too worked up about that though, Sans was there, standing near Red’s head, his face an endless swathe of happiness. “Red! You’re awake! Papy is going to be so mad when he hears you woke up without him,” Sans shook his head in exasperation. “He hasn’t left here in ages and of course the one time he does, you actually wake up!”

Red crinkled his brow in confusion. Papyrus was staying in the hospital with him? Why the hell would anyone do that? Unless Papyrus was worried that he’d hurt someone? but if that were the case, then Papyrus wouldn’t have been so annoyed at the sight of the cuffs.

 “How long have I been here?” Red asked instead. At this point, it was the only question that really mattered.

 Sans shifted. “A little while,” he said, then, at Red’s stern look, “about a week, I guess.”

At that, the world seemed to go a little white. A week? He’d been asleep for that long, away from Underfell for that long? Away from Grillby?

The final thought sent a thrill of pain down Red’s spine because, fuck, _Grillby_. Red squeezed his eyes shut, trying not to think too hard about the elemental's fate. He wanted to be angry--Grillby had put him here after all--but found that to be an impossible feat to achieve.

Because Grillby had been willing to sacrifice _everything_ for Red and Red couldn’t stand the idea that the elemental had thought him so valuable. He should’ve just sold Red out. He should have sold Red out months ago, but now? Now Red didn’t even know if he was okay.

God, he hoped Grillby was okay. 

“Red? Have you fallen back asleep?”

Red peeled open his eyes and offered Sans a small smile, glad to focus on something else--anything else, really. “Nah, Sweetheart. I’m still here." Then, "What was that you were drawing anyway?”

Sans brightened. “You wanna see?” 

“Yeah. Sure thing, kid.”

Anything to keep from having to think.

 

* * *

 

Papyrus was worried. More than that, he was goddamn _distraught_. It wasn’t just the fact that Red was hurt that worried him, it wasn’t just the fact that they had no idea how the kid had ended up so badly broken, and it wasn’t even the fact that Red had taken a week to fully regain consciousness even though the doctors had said he’d be awake in a matter of days.

 No, what worried Papyrus was the fact that now that Red was finally awake, he wasn’t questioning _anything_. He didn’t ask when his leg would heal or when he’d be able to walk again. He didn’t ask when he’d leave the hospital. He didn’t even question how he had gotten there to begin with.

Instead he laid back in that bed and did whatever was asked of him; it was like the kid had checked out of his own life completely.

Sure, he acted fine, but who the hell survived nearly dying and didn’t even ask about their injuries afterwards? Red wasn't fine. Red was an actor and he was a survivor, but he sure as hell wasn't fine. Papyrus wasn't about to be fooled by the kid's demeanor. Papyrus knew better than anyone that looks could be deceiving, after all. He knew for a fact that smiling didn't make you happy _;_  It just made you _presentable_. 

 

 

 "Maybe he just doesn't care what happens to him anymore," Alphys offered as explanation. Then, "Or maybe someone just taught him not to ask questions."

Papyrus stiffened at the thought. The two were standing in Alphys’s office, the border to Underfell so close Papyrus could practically smell it, and in that moment, Papyrus  _hated_ the place. He hated everything that place had ever done to Red and his little brother. Papyrus thought that, in that moment, if indignant rage could heal wounds, Red would already be back to full HP. 

“Why the hell would someone do that?” Papyrus growled.

Alphys shrugged. “You saw that thing around his neck. The guy obviously hasn’t had the best life.”

That managed to shut Papyrus up for a long minute.

 

Because Alphys was right. How could Papyrus forget the damn collar that they’d found looped around Red’s neck like a noose? When Red had gotten to the hospital, the doctors had tried everything to remove the thing to no avail. It was stuck there, the golden tag marking Red as someone’s _thing_.

 And the mere thought of someone going through the trouble of enchanting a dog collar to another monster’s neck was sickening. And now, Papyrus couldn't help but put every conversation he'd ever had with Red in the context of that damn collar. He remembered the second time he had ever talked to the skeleton, replayed the moment in technicolor detail over and over until he felt sick.  

Because what was it that had Red called Sans then? Oh, Right. He’d called him Papyrus’s _fuck toy._

 

Alphys placed a hand on Papyrus’s shoulder, snapping him out of his reverie. “You think too much, you know that?” She chastised. “Look, just tell him what you think he should know. I mean, it shouldn’t be that big of a deal.”

“But he should be _asking_ ,” Papyrus said. “He should at least care a little.”

“But he’s not and he _doesn’t_. So you’re gonna have to step up and _compensate_.” Alphys glared at him, “or at the very least stop whining to me about it. It’s goddamn annoying to say the least.” 

" _Alphys_ \--" 

The woman silenced him with the wave of her hand. "Look Papyrus, you took responsibility for the kid. That means you gotta deal with the pitfalls and if you don't think you can do that, then grow a pair and dump him. You aren't doing anyone any favors by taking on shit you aren't equipped to deal with. Okay?"

"Yeah," Papyrus nodded, a heavy level of resolve seeping into his bones. She was right. He'd agreed to take care of Red, that meant dealing with all the fucked up baggage Red had brought with him, too. And Papyrus could do that. Lord knew he'd manage to cart his own heavy luggage around long enough. 

 

  

Except every time Papyrus showed up at the hospital to visit Red, he couldn't stop looking at the collar around his neck.

The band had worn Red's neck smooth, so that his vertebrae were shiny, lighter than the rest of him even. Each time Papyrus looked at it, he was still startled by how _white_ Red's bones were beneath the collar. It reminded Papyrus of a picture frame. How, after you took the picture off the wall, a shadow of it remained, the paint beneath vivid were the rest had turned grey.  He wondered if, once upon a time, Red's entire body had been that same shocking shade of white, before Underfell's filth had seeped into the kid's marrow. 

And the words on Red’s dog tag were forever burned in Papyrus’s eye sockets. At night, he couldn’t help repeated them over and over in his mind, until it was all he could hear.

The tag read: 001-S PROPERTY OF F.G. 

And Papyrus had always known that Red’s life was bad, but this was a whole new level of awful he hadn’t thought to expect. The kid was considered a _thing_. Red had been treated like a fucking _thing_. Not a kid, not even a monster, but a piece of property and holy hell, what sort of number did that do to the kid, growing up like that? 

 

 

Papyrus stepped through the door to Red’s hospital room.

As always, Red startled at the sight of him, jerking against his restraints once before settling back like nothing had happened. The doctors had freed one of his arms a couple days ago, allowing Red some movement. Now the skeleton kept the television on at a low hum. He somehow managed to stare at the picture without ever really watching it. Papyrus actually found it a little impressive. 

“You look like shit,” Red grinned at him, motioning towards Papyrus with his free arm.

Startled by the kid’s words, Papyrus opened his mouth to rebuke the claim, then shut it, taking in a deep breath instead. The kid was right. Papyrus hadn’t been sleeping much the past couple of days and lord knew he hadn’t found time to take a shower. Instead he’d done nothing but worry about Red. 

He sunk into one of the hospital chairs, eyes going to the television. It was a show Papyrus had never seen before, one of the surface channels that’s signal was strong enough to reach even the Underground. Red seemed to be following it though, a little less disinterested than he usually was. 

Papyrus remembered Alphys’s words. She wasn’t a counselor, or a doctor, but she was sharp as a tack and one of the few monsters Papyrus really trusted. Plus, she was _right_. 

“I talked to the doctors today,” Papyrus said. “They told me you should be able to come home with Sans and me tomorrow. Though you’re gonna have to keep off that leg for a few more weeks.”

“Oh?” Red said, sounding completely impassive. 

“Yeah. Sans has already started setting up your room for you. It actually used to be my office, but seeing as you’re gonna be staying with us for a while, Sans insisted on making sure you had your own space and the pull out couch wasn’t gonna cut it.” Papyrus nodded towards the kid, smiling. “You got any requests for the place?”

That, at least, managed to incite a reaction from the kid. He flashed Papyrus a wild look and shook his head. “N-no. I mean, you don’t have to do that. You don't have to do shit like that for me. I'm fine wherever. I mean, you both saw where I was living before. I don’t need much. You certainly don’t hafta tear apart your house for something like me.”

 “It’s fine. Really. We’re happy to do it,” Papyrus said. He didn’t tell Red that the room might convince the kid to stay with them.

Red swallowed hard, but nodded, eyes flickering to the cuff around his other wrist. Papyrus wanted to tell the kid it was going to be all right. He wanted to wrap around Red like a goddamn windbreaker and keep the world from ever touching him again. But more than that? More than all of that, he just wanted to give the little skeleton a _home_. 

"Red," Papyrus said, watching the kid's head snapped towards him. Red's eyes were a little unfocused, but the lights flared once, before latching onto Papyrus's. Papyrus cleared his throat, swallowed hard, then said, "I promise you we're going to make sure you're okay. I promise we're going to take care of you. Okay?" Then, when Red didn't respond, "Okay, kid?" 

"Yeah, okay." 

The two stared at each other for a moment longer, before Red finally broke eye contact, looking to his hands. Papyrus didn't know if the kid believed him, but at the very least he had tried. And until the two got on firmer ground, that was going to have to be enough. 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, if you want constant updates on how fics are coming along and such, you can always follow me on tumblr at [unicornpunk-mifrunner.tumblr.com](https://unicornpunk-mifrunner.tumblr.com) or on twitter at [Mif_Runner](https://twitter.com/MiF_Runner)


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Red gets his own room. Sans gets a wake up call.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapters kinda short bc i ended up splitting it into two parts so i could get an update up for y'all today. (plans happened so i couldnt get a long chapter up like i had hoped to)
> 
> Hope you all enjoy!
> 
> Again thank you so much for all your comments and thank you for reading so far!
> 
> Fyi, i didn't get a chance to read through this like i normally do before posting. I'm in the car right now, in a hurry, so ima do that later tonight and fix typos and stuff. for now, i just wanted to get something up.
> 
> edit: i finally read through this and wow. im never updating again without a read through. the echos in this piece just... sorry folks. i finally fixed them. wont happen again.




* * *

 

Back with Boss, Red didn’t really have a room. Boss didn’t like for Red to be far away from him for too long and insisted the skeleton sleep on the floor beside his bed or, on nights when Red had particularly annoyed him, on the hall floor. It made sense. As a sector leader, Fell was a target. He needed his guard dog to be there in order to deter attackers.

Also, as Fell reminded him more often than not, if Red really wanted his own room, he’d have to earn it.

At the skeleton brothers’ house, Red’s room was on the second floor, between Sans and Papyrus’s doors. It was bigger than anything Red had ever imagined, done up in hues of crimson and black, and absurdly comfortable.

After Sans deposited Red in the space with orders to ‘make himself at home’, Red spent a long minute just staring at the bed.

He didn’t understand why the brothers were doing this. Red had never been given a bed in his life. Not by Grillby, not by Fell, and certainly not by Gaster and back then, Red had at least been _useful_. Now though?

Now, Red didn’t have anything to offer the two brothers. Back in Underfell he could have at least offered them protection, but here? What was he supposed to protect them from here? Annoying small talk?

Red leant heavily against his crutches, unable to get himself to move any further into the room. He shrugged off his backpack and slid to the floor, leaning against the frame of the bed.  He let out a bitter snort, the sound coming out choked off and painful.

What the hell was Grillby trying to do to him? Red wasn’t made for this kind of life. Red was barely able to handle life at the bar. He was never supposed to have to try and be a kind monster and now Red didn’t even know where to start.

There was a tentative knock at the door and Red startled, cursing when he smacked his head against the bed frame.

“Red?” Papyrus asked, voice loud to be heard through the door. “Can I come in?”

Red snorted. Why the hell was Papyrus asking _him_? “It’s your house, Orange Tree.”

“Yeah, but it’s your room.”

Oh. Red shut his eyes, taking a long moment to let the other skeleton’s words sink in, before shaking himself. “Yeah, man,” he said, less confident than before. “You can come in.”

At that, Papyrus pushed through. The skeleton frowned when he saw Red sitting on the ground, but didn’t say anything over the matter. Instead he held up a small stack of clothes. “Sans washed your things. Your shirt was trashed, but my brother is pretty good with a sewing needle so it should still be pretty wearable.”

“Thanks,” Red nodded.

“Sure thing,” Papyrus said, setting the stack on the desk by the door. He turned to leave, paused, then looked back to Red. “Hey, are you okay, man?” he asked then.

“Yeah,” Red shrugged. “Just peachy.”

“Seriously, kid.”

“Seriously?” Red frowned, picking at his knuckles. After a week of being chained to a hospital bed, the cracks in his metacarpals were mostly healed. With the anxiety Red was feeling now, he knew this wouldn’t be the case for much longer. “I have no idea. This is all just so goddamn surreal. I’m still having a hard time accepting all of it.”

Papyrus slid down to the floor so that the two were eye level, sitting cross-legged a little ways from Red. “Yeah. I can imagine.”

“No. You _can’t_ ,” Red asserted, laying his head back so that he was staring up at the ceiling. Someone had gone through and placed glow-in-the-dark stars across the expanse, making the difference between here and Red’s home seem even vaster than before. “You have no idea what this is like.”

Papyrus opened his mouth to respond, but then eyes went to Red’s hands, the the gouges Red’s claws were digging into the bone, and he stopped short. He made a small noise in the back of his throat and scooted forward, but managed to stop himself mid-gesture.

“Hey, kid. You’re making yourself bleed,” Papyrus said, pointing to Red’s metacarpals. 

Red snorted. “So?”

“So I just spent a week worrying about your broken ass and I’ll be damned if I pull you from death’s door only to have you throw yourself back there the first chance you get,” Papyrus said, voice sharp.

“I didn’t ask for you to save me.”

“Yeah, and I didn’t ask for you to help Sans,” Papyrus retorted, rolling to his feet. “So I guess we’re even.”

* * *

Sans had been venturing into Underfell for years. Ever since he learned that the monsters there had nothing while he had so much, he’d been trying to improve the situation across the border. He’d been taking care of hundreds of monsters, he’d been doing his best to make things better for them, but in that time, Sans had never really learned how Red Monsters actually _lived_. 

He was only just beginning to realize, that before Red, he’d never had a real conversation with a Red Monster before. Sure, he talked to them plenty, but never about anything substantial. Never as an equal.

 It wasn’t a far stretch, after that, for Sans to finally understand how unprepared he was to take care of Red. He didn’t let the thought discourage him from trying, but he _did_ let the reality of the situation sink in before he went to bed that night.

Sans knew nothing about Underfell. He knew nothing about Red’s world. More than that, he knew nothing about what Red had been through. The scars on the little skeleton’s body and the collar around Red’s neck had given Sans an _idea_ , but what good was that? 

no good at all, really.

 

 

In the morning, Sans awoke early. He stepped out into the hall and turned, only to come face to face with Papyrus. The older skeleton was sitting on the floor, his back braced against Red’s bedroom door. His eyes were sunken in, the bone around them dark from lack of sleep, and he had a sucker clamped firmly in his jaw.

“What are you doing up?” Sans chastised. Then, when he realized where Papyrus was sitting, “That’s Red’s door. You can’t invade his privacy like that!” 

Papyrus was decent enough to look guilty, but he didn't move. Instead he just motioned Sans closer to the door. Sans frowned, not wanting to do the very thing he’d just scolded Papyrus for, but one look at the harrowed expression on his brother’s face and Sans’s curiosity got the best of him.

He took a seat next to Papyrus, magic pulsing through his marrow. For a moment, Sans didn’t hear anything, then the sound of whimpering filtered through the door. Sans looked to his brother, suddenly feeling very tired. 

“All night?” Sans asked.

Papyrus pulled his sucker out of his mouth before nodding, expression blank.

“At the hospital, he didn’t--“

“He was drugged out of his mind then,” Papyrus rasped. He squeezed his eyes shut, “the kid doesn’t even catch a break when he’s sleeping. What the hell is up with that?” Papyrus glared at his sucker, before popping it back in his mouth and mumbling, “it’s not fair. A sweet kid like him shouldn’t _whimper_ in his sleep. It’s just not fair.”

Sans frowned. He wished he could say something that would make that punched-gut expression melt from Papyrus’s face, but what was there to say? It _wasn’t_ fair. Nothing about this entire shit show was fair and Sans hated that more than anything else.

“Come on. Let’s go get something to eat,” Sans finally settled for saying, offering a hand to Papyrus.

 His brother hesitated a long moment, before allowing himself to be pulled to his feet.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And as always, if you want constant updates on how fics are coming along and stuff, you can always follow me on tumblr at [unicornpunk-mifrunner.tumblr.com](https://unicornpunk-mifrunner.tumblr.com) or on twitter at [Mif_Runner](https://twitter.com/MiF_Runner)


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans tries to cook. Papyrus shows Red Snowdin. Muffet appears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i guess you guys might be wondering where the hell i've been the past two weeks, especially after i said we'd be getting back to regular updates. Well, I made a post about it on Tumblr, but I'll go ahead and repeat myself here since i know a lot of you didn't see that post. 
> 
> **(TW: discussion of animal death ahead)**
> 
> A couple days after posting the last chapter of I've Fallen, i took my dog in to the vet for a check-up. He'd been fighting off pneumonia for a week and the days leading up to the check up, he'd been having difficulty breathing and keeping down food. we took him to the vet thinking he needed stronger antibiotics. 
> 
> Instead, it turned out that he didn't have pneumonia at all anymore. The reason he was gasping for breath and unable to keep down food was due to the fact that he had developed congenital heart failure. As such, his lungs and the area around his heart were filled with fluid. 
> 
> the vet gave us medicine to help move the fluid out of his lungs as well as special food and electrolytes to keep his strength up. We babied the hell out of him for the next couple of days, did _anything_ if it meant giving him the tiniest chance of being okay. We were told if we could get him eating and get the fluid moved out of his chest, we could then give him regular medication that would keep up his quality of life for a few more years. 
> 
> When we took him to the vet last tuesday, they x-rayed his chest once more. There was less fluid but they also found a large tumor in his heart that was untreatable. He was suffering. He couldnt eat, he couldnt lie comfortably, and there was no treatment for the tumor. We had to put him down. 
> 
> I've been heart broken since then. I've had this dog for years and loved him dearly. Tyson was such a joyous pupper and he got me through some really tough times in my life. He followed me around like he was my shadow and slept in my bed every night. he was one of my very best friends and loosing him was soul crushing. 
> 
> So yeah, i haven't really been feeling up to writing fan fiction lately. I think you guys will understand why. I'm going to try to get back into the swing of things, but i'm not making any promises. Except this one: I promise you none of my fics are dead. I am still working on all of them, just at a much slower pace than before. 
> 
> that said, the completion dates for all my fics are going to be moved back another couple of months and updates are going to be pretty sporadic.
> 
>  
> 
> **Thank you for your patience and again, thank you so much for reading so far. You all are the reason why this fic exists and i hope to continue to be able to provide you with great content. Just apparently not consistent content anymore, lol.**
> 
>  
> 
> anyway, without further ado, here ya go. Chapter 12!

* * *

Red woke up feeling raw. The shades were drawn over his window, turning his room into a bubble of isolation, and Red realized with a start that he had no idea what time it was. Back in Underfell, Grillby had always been there to wake him in time for work and Red had even had the bustle of the bar to help him keep track of time. Now though? Nothing here was familiar enough for him to even have a concept of the time.

His bones were sore though, his throat dry, and Red could guess he’d been asleep for a while. His body was healing after all, desperately trying to knit his leg back together, and that used more magic than Red was used to. Then again, who was he kidding? Red had never once been an early riser; that had been his brother’s job.

The thought made the skeleton grimace. He steeled himself, sitting up, letting his feet come in contact with the floor. The movement sent a shiver of pain up his leg, but he pushed the sensation away. Red knew better than to let an injury slow him down. Sure things in Snowdin were much safer than he was used to, but Red knew he couldn’t let himself get comfortable here.

Sooner or later, he would end up back in Underfell. Even if Red didn’t willingly choose to return home, it was still just a matter of time before the skeleton brothers grew sick of him. Everyone always gave up on Red eventually, after all.

(Except Boss.)

But no, Red wasn’t going to think like that. The last time he’d let his brain travel down _that_ particular rabbit hole, he’d almost turned himself in and he couldn’t do that now even if he wanted to. With a broken leg, Red was useless to his brother and Boss had never had a liking for clutter.

 

He stopped at the base of the stairs. He could hear the brothers in the kitchen, the clatter of pots and pans evident. Again, Red had to wonder what time it was. Did either of these idiots have a job _?_ Or did they just sit around all day looking for poor souls to bother?

Red shifted, trying to decide if he really wanted to go through the trouble of social interaction today, when a loud explosion came from the kitchen. The little skeleton let out a string of curses and dropped his crutches, the pain in his leg forgotten as he surged forward, magic making his eye spark.

And then stopped dead in the center of the kitchen. The place was an absolute mess. There were bowls scattered about the countertop, pans taking up every inch of the stove, and the oven was beginning to hum ominously, but that wasn’t what stopped Red in his tracks. 

The thing was, there was meat _everywhere._ Whatever Sans and Papyrus were cooking seemed to have exploded, destroying the entirety of the kitchen and coating everything within a three-foot radius in meat and sauce, including the two skeleton brothers. The two were now rolling on the floor, laughing their asses off, all the while acting like their home wasn’t halfway to being wrecked.

Sans was the first to notice Red in the doorway. His face lit up and he sprung to his feet, wiping his face on his apron. It didn’t help much with the mess, but the blueberry didn’t seem to notice. “Red! You’re up! We were just trying to make you dinner!”

“Oh, um. It looks… delicious?” Red tried.

His words seemed to sock Papyrus in the funny bone, because the skeleton began laughing once more, his hands clutching his sternum like it hurt to breathe. “It looks like a fucking _disaster_ ,” Papyrus wheezed.  

Sans glared at his brother, but there didn’t seem to be any real threat behind the look, just a speck of annoyance. Then he met eyes with Red and his expression softened once more. “We were making tacos!”

Red retrieved his crutches and limped forward, running a hand across the dining room table, his fingers coming back coated in meat sauce. “And you decided to add gunpowder because?”

Papyrus burst out in another bout of laughter. 

“You two are mean,” Sans pouted.

“Aw, it’s only ‘cause we love you, Snasy,” Papyrus said, sobering some. “You have to admit, disasters in the kitchen are a little—constant.”

“That’s it, no tacos for you.”

“Aw, Sans—”

“Out,” Sans made a shooing motion. “Out of my kitchen. You’re in the way. Get out.”

Papyrus snorted, but did as told, steering Red out as he did so until they were headed up the stairs. Red wondered if Papyrus wanted him to return to his room. Maybe the skeleton brothers didn’t want him wandering around the house? Then again, Papyrus could just be worried about leaving Red alone with Sans.

Without clear orders, Red ended up standing awkwardly in the hall, uncertain as to whether Papyrus wanted him to follow him into his room, or if he wanted Red to return to his own.

With Boss, Red never really had to guess. Boss was vocal and he always made sure Red knew what was wanted of him. Boss had taught Red how to follow orders.

Grillby was a little more difficult, but he was quick to tell Red what he _wasn’t_ supposed to be doing. He didn’t bruise like Boss did, but sharp words and the occasional slap across the head made sure Red learned his place.

The skeleton brothers were a lot harder to figure out. Red almost wished they would yell at him at least once, then it’d be easier to get a read on them.

Before Red could decide what to do, Papyrus appeared once more, freshly clothed, the sauce cleaned from his face. He looked a little surprised to see Red there, but then the shock faded and he smiled widely.

“You bored?” he asked.

Red shrugged, unsure how to answer the question. He’d never really had the peace of mind to be bored. He asked, “Does Sans’s cooking normally end up destroying the kitchen?”

“Pretty much,” Papyrus snorted. “You get used to it, I guess." 

Red let out a breath. these two were _hopeless_. 

They settled into silence for a moment, Papyrus standing there, hands shoved in his pockets, before the orange tree shifted, previous good mood returning in a blink. “Hey, you said you were bored right? Since tacos are a no go, do you wanna grab something to eat? Maybe see a little more of Snowdin, yeah?”

Red shifted. He didn’t know if it was really a good idea for Sans and Papyrus to advertise that they had a Red Monster staying in their home, but he didn’t know if he really had a place to refuse. Boss used to do this too, phrasing orders as questions. Red just wished he could figure out the consequences behind giving the head of the household a wrong answer.

Finally, he just shrugged, “Sure. Whatever you want, man.”

Papyrus frowned a little bit at that, but then continued back down stairs, yelling a quick farewell to Sans who was furiously stirring something on the stove. He absentmindedly waved them off, not turning his attention from his cooking, and Red hoped he wouldn’t burn the house down while they were away.

 

The moment they stepped out the front door, Red was hit by the biting cold of Snowdin. Underfell wasn’t the best place. It rained too much and the place was filled with so much dust it made Red’s eyes sting, but damn, at least it had never been _cold._ He hunched deeper into his coat, leaning heavily against his crutches.

“I don’t know if this is the best idea, man,” Red said after a moment.

Papyrus flashed him a concerned look. “You wanna go back inside? I’m not trying to make you do anything your uncomfortable with, I just thought you might wanna get a look around is all.”

And god, the guy looked so genuine Red almost wanted to be sick. The little skeleton let out a breath, staring at his sneakers. “Nah. It’s not that. It’s just—aren’t you worried what everyone is gonna think? What with you carting a Red Monster around and all?”

Papyrus shifted. “I don’t think anyone’s gonna care all that much.”

Red snorted, the noise derisive enough to make Papyrus’s entire expression shut down. He studied Red, like he was trying to figure the monster out, and Red just wanted to laugh some more, because damn, this guy could be so stupid sometimes.

“Trust me, people are gonna care. You Greys always care when something like me come traipsing around.” 

“I think you’ll find the people of Snowdin to be a little more tolerant than that.”

 “Why? What makes you think they’re any different than the thousand other monsters that exiled me and my kind for no damn reason? You think they’re better just because they live around _you?"_  Red shook his head in dismay, _"_ Let me tell you, man, just because you know someone, that doesn’t mean they don’t go home and beat their wives. People are all kinds of good at hiding how shitty they are.”

“I thought you wanted to come?” Papyrus snapped, defensive.

“I do,” Red said, even though he still wasn’t sure one way or the other if he wanted to be out here or not.

“Then what’s with all this bullshit?”

“Just trying to make sure you know what you’re doing.”

“Yeah,” Papyrus huffed, “you think I didn’t know the risks when I first offered to sponsor you? I know what the hell I’m getting myself into.”

Red left it at that and followed Papyrus down the steps and onto the road. There was one thing he knew though: Papyrus didn’t have a damn clue what he was signing up for. How could he? Red had been living like this his entire life and still things happened that took him by surprise and now Papyrus—spoiled privileged fucking Papyrus—thought he knew what Red’s life was like? He thought he knew better than Red what people were capable of?

Fuck that. Orange tree didn’t have a damn _clue._

* * *

 

They ended up in Muffet’s before long. Papyrus normally walked a little longer than this, but Red was still healing and, even when he didn’t complain, Papyrus could see the little beads of sweat forming on the kid’s skull, could see the way he held back a tiny grimace with each step.

But the entire trip had been worth it just to watch the way Red’s face lit up when he saw the library. Red had just stared at the place like it was a marvel, running his hands across the spines of the books with a reverent eye. For the first time all day, he had actually seemed relaxed. The hard shell he kept wrapped around himself like a shield had cracked and there was just wonder. 

“You don’t have libraries back home?” Papyrus had asked.

 Red had blinked, like Papyrus’s words had broken him from his thoughts, and he’d quickly drawn away from the shelves. “We don’t have anything this nice back home,” he’d said, then headed out, shoulders slumped, ignoring the looks the other patrons gave him like it was second nature, like he was used to people staring.

Maybe he was. Papyrus didn’t ask, he just made a mental note to get Red a library card as soon as possible. The kid deserved something nice in his life, after all.

 

Now they were in Muffet’s, down in one of the booths, Red’s eyes casing the place like he expected an attack. He was back to being hunched down, his hood drawn up despite the fact that Muffet’s was as warm as a summer day. The kid looked like he was trying to disappear into the garment.

“Isn’t the blueberry cooking back home?” Red asked.

“Yeah. Nothing you’ll want to eat though,” Papyrus grinned. “Trust me on that.”

 Red snorted. “Fuck. He’s that bad at it, huh?” 

“He blew up the kitchen,” Papyrus reminded him.

At that, Red’s grin widened even further. He let out a huffy little laugh, the noise almost nonexistent, before wiping at his nose. “Damn. Must be rough. Does he at least know he sucks?”

“You really want to tell that kid that he’s terrible at it?”

“Guess not,” Red admitted, going to pick at the edge of his menu, suddenly pensive. “Ya know, Boss used to be the same way. Thought he was Asgore’s gift to cooking even though he was just terrible at it.”

Papyrus stiffened a little at the words, but tried to keep from reacting too badly to the mention of Red’s ‘Boss’. Red had never spoken of the monster before, but Papyrus knew from the terror on Red’s face every time he confused Papyrus for the other monster that Boss was no one good. Still, Red’s expression had gone soft around the edges, affection clear on his face.

He traced a ring on the table with his claw, still lost in thought. “Sans kind of reminds me of him a little. I mean, you look like him, but you’re too lazy, ya know? Sans has that energy. Like he can do anything he puts his mind to. Boss is like that too. Can’t say no to him or he'll burn right through you.” 

Papyrus wondered if Red understood how fucked up that last statement sounded.

Red opened his mouth to say more, but quickly snapped it shut, eyes going to something behind Papyrus. Papyrus turned just in time to see Muffet coming towards him, her eyes bright, smile wide. He stood and she quickly wrapped him in a tight hug.

“Oh dearie, it’s been so long since you’ve come by! I was beginning to worry,” She said, releasing Papyrus, then her eyes turned to Red and the kid seemed to go stiff. Maybe he was frightened she would insist on a hug as well or maybe he was just like this around strangers. It wasn’t like Papyrus had really ever seen him interact with anyone other than Sans and Grillby. “Oh and this must be Red. I’ve heard so much about you, dear.”

Red looked at Papyrus when he said, “can’t say I’ve heard the same about you.”

“Uh yeah. Guess I should’ve given you fair warning. Muffet kind of raised me and Sans,” Papyrus said. He hadn't really thought to say anything. Everyone in Snowdin  _knew._ It had been a long time since someone needed to be told about Muffet and the skeleton brothers. 

Red’s eyes went to Muffet, expression guarded. “You took them in? That’s—nice,” he said after a long moment.

“I suppose. It more just seemed like the decent thing to do at the time,” Muffet told him.

 

Once she was back to the kitchen, their orders taken, the two skeletons settled back into silence. Papyrus wanted to ask if Red Monsters ever willingly took care of someone who wasn’t their own flesh and blood, because if they did, Papyrus had certainly never seen it.

One of the waiters returned with their orders, Muffet apparently too busy to make another appearance, and Red moved to pick at his burger. Papyrus remembered Sans saying he had eaten a burger with Red back at Grillby’s. The skeleton wondered how Muffet’s cooking compared to the elemental’s.

“Was she nice to you guys when you were kids?” Red finally asked, the question so far out of left field Papyrus almost didn’t even know how to answer.

“Yeah?” Papyrus said. “I mean, she’s our mom. ‘Course she was nice.”

“Mm,” Red hummed, taking a bite of his burger and chewing slowly. “Just checking.”

“And what were you gonna do if I said no?”

Red shrugged. “Probably nothing. Hate her, I guess.”

 _‘Probably_ nothing,’ Papyrus’s brain repeated. ‘ _Probably.’_ His eyes focused on Red’s hands, the way the monster’s claws punctured the top of the burger bun, sharper than fingers had a right to be and for the first time, he wondered just what Red was capable of. 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And as always, if you want constant updates on how fics are coming along and stuff, you can always follow me on tumblr at [unicornpunk-mifrunner.tumblr.com](https://unicornpunk-mifrunner.tumblr.com) or on twitter at [Mif_Runner](https://twitter.com/MiF_Runner)


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Red adjusts to life with the Skeleton Brothers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here y'all go. Hopefully the next update will be quicker coming. Thank you so much for all your well wishes and all your beautiful comments. I really appreciate it. 
> 
> All y'all rock. Every. single. one. of you. And I mean that in all seriousness. So if you're thinking, 'oh, thats nice, but it's not directed at me.' You're wrong. This is 100% directed at you, okay?
> 
> You are so so great. Like so great. Capital 'G' great. And I hope you never doubt that fact. 
> 
> Now that that important fact is established, time to move on the to update! I hope you enjoy the new chapter and as always, thank you so much for reading!

* * *

 

Over the next week, Red quickly learned that he was allowed to sleep as long as he wanted to and took full advantage of this fact. Most days he didn’t wake up before lunch and even though Red never really felt rested, for the first time in his life he came close.

Still, he had the tendency to jerk awake in the middle of the night, his breath catching in his ribs. Boss hadn’t liked it when Red cried out in his sleep and over the years Red had trained his body to wake himself up before he got too loud, which meant, more often than not, his sleep was pretty fractured.

That night was particularly bad. Red hadn’t had a dream about Gaster in a while, not since leaving Underfell at least, and this one wasn’t pleasant. Red woke up with the scent of chemicals in his nose, the memory of needles puncturing bone, his frame shaking. He kicked off his blankets and scrambled into the corner beside his bed, breathing coming in quick gasps.

 

(Some nights he didn't sleep at all, too terrified of what his dreams might bring him.)

 

Gaster had been a real asshole. He’d never been able to understand the word no and most days, Red could never forget what Gaster had made him into—what Gaster had turned his _son_ into. But the man was dead. He wasn’t going to touch Red ever again—Boss had made sure of that—and so the thought of him shouldn’t feel so terrifying. It shouldn’t turn Red into a blubbering mess.

There was a tentative knock on the door and Red startled, knocking his head against the wall.

“Red?” Sans’s voice filtered through the door. “Are you okay? I heard a scream.”

“Yeah, sweetheart. I’m fine. Just thought I saw a spider, is all,” Red offered, voice hoarse. “Didn’t mean to wake you.”

“Oh, okay,” Sans said, though he didn’t sound wholly convinced. That was fine. Red hadn’t really put much effort into bluff. “Can I come in?”

Red opened his mouth, caught himself before he could say, ‘it’s your house.’ The skeleton brothers didn’t like it when he did that. Instead he forced himself to his feet and unlocked the door. He ran a hand across his skull, fingers scraping against the bone, and sat on the edge of his bed just in time to see Sans step into the room.

The blueberry didn’t close the door behind him and didn’t venture much further than the desk. He seemed to teeter on the edge of indecision for a moment, before he pulled out the desk chair and sat down.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Sans asked.

Red flinched away from the words. He moved to pick at his knuckles, then stopped, remembering the way Papyrus had reacted to the same action. “There’s nothing to talk about,” Red huffed, “just me and my typical level of fucked up. Nothing more to say than that.”

Sans nodded. They sat in silence for a moment, before Sans said, “Do you miss Underfell?”

“It was— _is—_ home. How can I not miss that?”

“A lot of bad things seemed to happen to you there, though.”

“Yeah, but—” Red paused. It was difficult to explain. He knew he _should_ hate Underfell, the same way he knew he should hate Gaster, but he just didn’t. Instead he missed them both. More than that, he missed _Boss._  It was a block of pain that never went away. “A lot of good things happened there too," Red finally decided. "It’s everything, you know. My whole life. And sometimes things were so goddamn ugly, but other times it was absolutely beautiful. There’s no place prettier than Underfell, is the thing.”

“Alphys says its hell.”

“Yeah, but there’s a certain beauty in that.”  Red frowned, staring down at his hands. “It’s only when you’re stripped of everything, that you can figure out what’s really you and what’s bullshit. It’s only in really terrible awful situations, that you get to learn what you're made of—what you can’t live without. You get to learn whether you’re really as good as you think you are.”

Red continued, “And when there’s order, when there’s law, it’s _easy_ to be good. You can do good things, and it doesn’t really mean anything. You’re just good because, in that kind of place, being good is easiest—it’s the path of least resistance, you know? But in Underfell, when someone does something kind, they risk _everything_ for that and you know they’re doing it because at their core, they’re just _good._ Against all odds, _they_ _want_ _to be good_ , and that’s not something you’ll find anywhere else.”

“ _’A certain kind of beauty_ ,’” Sans repeated slowly. His eyes met Red’s, “I think I can see where you’re coming from.”

And maybe it was the hesitance in his voice, the admission that Sans only _thought_ he understood, but Red found himself nodding in agreement. “Yeah, sweetheart,” he said. “I think you do too.”

 

And it was funny how, after that, it became so much harder to stay out of the skeleton brothers’ lives. Before then, Red had been trying to keep to his room. He was going to have to leave as soon as his leg healed after all and he didn’t need to get attached to anyone more than he already had. But after that night, it was just too damn hard to keep away.

Red realized with a start that Sans’s personality was bright as the sun and Red and Papyrus where the two idiot asteroids that had gotten caught in his orbit. Because really, when you got down to it, everything in that house revolved around Sans. Not even Red could escape that fact.

Boss had been the same way. Except, instead of a sun, he'd been a black hole, swallowing everything that dared to venture into his wake.

 

(Except Red.)

 

“You two need a hand?” Red asked, leaning against the doorway to the kitchen.

The two brother’s startled. Sans was hunched over a large mixing bowl, spices spread across the countertop, while Papyrus leant against the dining table, overseeing the pending disaster. Neither had heard Red coming. Silence was a skill Red had perfected over the years and these days, it made him feel a little like a house cat, the way he could slink into a room and disrupt the calm with a single word.

“I promise I’m not trying to poison you,” Red shifted. “Just seemed like you could use someone with a little more experience in the kitchen.”

“Wait, you know how to cook?” Papyrus asked.

“Well, yeah,” Red shrugged. “I mean I have lived in a kitchen for the past couple months. Kinda hard not to pick up a few things.”

Sans and Papyrus exchanged a look, like they were trying to decide what to say. Sometimes it was hard to watch, the way they could have entire conversations without saying a single word. Red had never had that with anyone before. He’d come close with Boss, but that was different. Mostly because Boss couldn’t tell what Red was thinking if his life depended on it. Mostly because Boss didn't  _care_ what Red was thinking. 

It was strange how Sans and Papyrus were such—such  _equals_.

“Oh thank god,” Papyrus finally said, then turned to Red. “We would fucking _love_ a hand.”

 

That’s how Red ended up cooking the meals from then on. Even when Sans said a hundred times that first night, as they sat around the kitchen table, Papyrus acting like Red was Asgore’s gift to the kitchen, that Red didn’t need to make a habit of cooking for them, Red knew he was going to do just that.

“We’ve made it this far,” Sans said, scrubbing his plate clean while Red and Papyrus loafed about the table. Papyrus was still working his way through a bottle of honey, his eyes half closed, and Red was picking at the last of his meal. “So really, don’t worry about it. Don’t feel like you have to help out for our sakes.”

“Screw that,” Papyrus sat forward suddenly, making Red startle. His face immediately softened. “I mean, do what you want and all, but that’s the first edible meal we’ve cooked since moving out of Muffet’s. Like holy shit, kid. You’ve got some skill there.”

Red shrugged. “Hard not to be good when you’re competition regularly destroys the kitchen.”   

The two brothers paused for a moment, staring at him, before breaking out in a fit of laughter. Sans was blushing, obviously embarrassed by the jab, but laughing all the same. 

 

(For a moment there, Red sort of felt like a member of the family.)

 

The really fucked up thing was, Gaster had never let Red think of himself as a monster. Sometimes, Red wasn’t even sure he’d had a mother at all. If it weren’t for his grainy memory, the single image of a woman there with him and Boss, he might’ve believed Gaster’s claims that Red was little more than a specimen grown in a lab. But he knew he had a mother. He just didn’t know if his mother was happy about the fact that she’d had Red.

Gaster said Red was no better than the white rats he kept in the cages along the wall and for a long time, _Red_ _believed him._ What else was he supposed to do? He only knew Gaster and the labs and the metal bindings on the table. There was nothing indicating he was worth anything more.

Then there was the night, after a particularly bad day of testing, when Fell snuck down to the basement, to the pile of blankets where Red slept, and wrapped his arms around Red. Where Red had shook and chattered, his mind little more than fear and pain-pain- _pain_ , Fell had been all steady assurance. He’d been strong bones and solid ground and he’d stroked Red’s head until the skeleton had stilled in his arms.

“You have to stay alive,” Fell had breathed, quiet for the first time in Red’s memory. “You have to.”

“Okay,” Red had said, not really understanding what he was promising.

“You and me, we’re going to change things,” Fell had said. “We are going to make things better for everyone. So you have to stay alive. You are not allowed to die, okay? Because I need you. You’re mine, all right?”

“All right.” 

And Fell was the first one to give Red a name. Even Red’s mother hadn’t cared enough to give Red something as simple as a name, but Fell had gone against his father’s rage, had gone against everything, and he’d given Red something to hold onto.

 

(And then Red had run away.)

 

“You really don’t get a lot of sleep, do you?” Papyrus asked the moment he caught Red slinking down the stairs.

The Orange Tree was slumped on the couch, sunken so far into the cushions Red had to wonder how long he’d been lying there. He had an ashtray on the seat next to him, a cigarette clamped between his teeth. The tip glowed a bright red.

“I thought you were asleep,” Red said, hesitating at the bottom of the steps.

“Yeah,” Papyrus shrugged, not taking his eyes from the television. The volume was off and Red wondered how the guy was still awake. Most nights when Red slunk down here looking for a glass of water, his throat dry from gasping in his sleep, Papyrus was already out, his snores drifting up through the house.

Red wondered if the Orange Tree ever made it to his bed to sleep.

“You wanna smoke?” Papyrus asked then, pulling the cherry from his lips, smoke curling out from his ribs to frame his skull. It turned the edges of his face into a hazy blur, making him seem less real than before.      

Red crinkled his nose at the offer and Papyrus let out a short bark of a laugh before stamping his cigarette out on the ash tray. “Man, you and Sans actually have something in common.”

“I just don’t see the appeal,” Red admitted.

Again, Papyrus just shrugged. “Calms the nerves, I guess.” He eyed Red, “Seems like you could use something like that. I mean, when’s the last time you slept through the night, kid?”

“Sleep doesn’t like me too much.”

“You have trouble getting there or staying there?”

Red waggled his head. “Little bit of both I guess.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

Red snorted, remembering when Sans had asked him the same thing. “What’s with you people and talking about things?”

“What? Too well adjusted for someone like you?” Papyrus retorted, but not unkindly. He set his ashtray on the side table and patted the now vacant couch cushion, “Come on, kid. It might help. You’ll never know until you try it.”

Red hesitated just long enough for Papyrus to grown uncertain.

“You don’t have to, just—“ Papyrus glanced down at his hands. It occurred to Red that he’d never seen the guy look so small before. “You cry in your sleep. Did you know that? It’s just—I know its selfish to say this, but I think I might sleep better too, if you can. And I know its dumb but just—it’s hard, okay? Knowing you’re right next door in some hellscape you can’t get away from. It’s hard to sleep knowing that.”

_Shit._

Red gaped at Papyrus, before he remembered himself and forced his eyes to the floor. Guilt crept into his chest, making his frame feel heavier than before. “Is that why you’ve been sleeping down here? Because of me?”

“No, I mean yes, but, hell kid,” Papyrus let out a long breath, rubbing at his eye sockets. “Don’t go beating yourself up over it. If you were Sans I’d probably be dealing with it just as well.”

“But I’m _not_ ,” Red swallowed hard, clutching at the crack in his skull. “I’m _not_ Sans. I’m not even close! I’m barely even the same species as you guys!"

"Red," Papyrus tried, but Red was past the point of being stopped. He didn't think he could if he wanted to.

"Really, I'm just a fucked up piece of shit--broken machinery, really. I doesn't deserve you caring about me. I just deserve the south side of a bat and you--”

" _Red, please--"_

"You keep on being nice to me! You should just kill me or send me away. You shouldn't be like this! You shouldn't--" 

“ _Stop_   _saying_   _that_ ,” Papyrus finally snapped, patience breaking, and the rest of the rant died in Red’s throat, static taking over his brain the moment he recognized an Order _._

       

(See, Red didn’t even remember the first time Boss had decided that it was okay hit him. The thing was, it had made more sense for Boss to hit him than not so when Boss’s patience had finally snapped, when he’d thrown Red against the wall so hard the skeleton’s skull had cracked open, Red hadn’t even thought anything of it.

It was an obvious point to reach, an inevitable conclusion to their already fucked up relationship. Red wasn’t a member of the family, after all. He was a thing, a _tool_ , and he hadn’t been responding correctly. So, Fell had reacted the same way he would to any other glitchy piece of machinery. 

And Red always had to wonder, was it cruel if there was no real intention behind it? If it was done out of a sense of habit and nothing else?)

 

When the static whirring of his brain finally died down enough for Red to be able to take in his surroundings, the little skeleton realized he was shaking, frozen, stuck in an endless feedback loop that turned minutes into milliseconds.

Papyrus wasn’t on the couch anymore. He was sitting on the coffee table instead, so close Red stumbled a step backwards before he could stop himself, sucking in a huge gasp of air as he did so. He tripped over his own feet, falling, his injured leg giving out from under him.  

           

(It occurred to him that he’d spent his whole life in free fall, just waiting to hit the ground.)

 

Then Papyrus caught Red by the wrist, steadying him, and for once being touched didn’t seem so bad. After two months of living under the brothers’ roof, Orange Tree’s presence was just _familiar._ It just felt natural for the skeleton to try to catch Red when he fell.

“Sorry,” Papyrus said, quickly pulling his hand back. “I didn’t mean to—I mean, I know you don’t like to be touched.”

Red shook his head, rubbing the spot on his arm where Papyrus had grabbed him. “No. It’s fine. It didn’t—” Red struggled to find the right words.

It didn’t what? Hurt? Was Red really so used to being hit that he just expected touch to be painful?

“I don’t—” Red let out a frustrated little sound.

“Hey, it’s okay. You don’t have to explain. It’s fine.” Papyrus glanced away, back at his spot on the couch. “Just—if you ever need to talk, I’m here, okay? Whatever you need, I’m here for you. Always. Okay, kid?”

"Yeah," Red rasped, unsure of what he was being promised. "Yeah, okay." 

 

When Gaster had finally decided he’d had enough insubordination from the son he called dog, he brought Red outside to the kennel behind their house. They’d never had a pet. They’d only ever had Red, so the little skeleton had known that the tether and the cage and the chipped dog bowl in the corner all belonged to him—a contingency plan for when Gaster got tired of pretending he cared.

             

(Because everyone stopped pretending eventually, right?)

 

The last time Gaster had dragged Red to the kennel, the scientist’s entire body had been burning with fury. Red didn’t even remember what he had done that was so wrong, but he didn’t think it mattered. Gaster had always found something to yell about. Hitting Red had stopped being about discipline a long time ago and had quickly become a catharsis, a way to let out the frustration Gaster felt towards everything that wasn’t him.

But Red _did_ remember being terrified. Boss had left two weeks ago, apprenticing under one of Underfell’s sector leaders for a season, and he wouldn’t be back for weeks. He wouldn’t be there to save Red this time around. Red remembered crying, he remembered whimpering the moment Gaster snapped the tether to his collar and locked the cage door. 

The rest of his punishment was a hazy slew of images. To this day, Red wouldn’t be able to say how long he’d been locked away. He remembered the cold seeping in through the walls of the kennel, he remembered shivering, then, when his energy sputtered out, he remembered sleeping.

He had quickly realized that he was going to die there, alone in a shed built for an animal, and he hadn’t really cared enough to fight the inevitable. He'd just wanted to sleep. 

 

(Boss would be so disappointed in him.)

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And up there, when Pap's catches Red mid fall, is the original scene that inspired the title of the fic. (That and the life alert meme lol.)
> 
>  
> 
> As always, if you want constant updates on how fics are coming along and stuff or if you just want to buff my ego by adding to my follower account, you can always follow me on tumblr at [unicornpunk-mifrunner.tumblr.com](https://unicornpunk-mifrunner.tumblr.com) or on twitter at [Mif_Runner](https://twitter.com/MiF_Runner)


End file.
